RICH AND FAMOUS

Researchers of a recent study asked Millennials this question:

What do you think will make you "Happy?"

• 80% said to be "rich"

• 50% said to be "famous"

Hmmm, we have some work to do here. It's a little bit concerning that this is the world we live in. If you are wondering who exactly Millennials are...they are individuals who were born from the early 80's to the year 2000. I just missed the cut, but fall under the Generation Y category (mid 60's to early 80's).

With the advances in technology and access to many mediums that provide instant feedback, our attention spans and patience have significantly shrunk...I mean drastically. Let me list a few things that can be credited for this shrinkage (there's something about that word I just don't like):

• cell phones (do people even have home phones anymore?)
• text messaging (do people...especially young people even talk anymore?)
• social media (Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Twitter, Vine, Facebook...do people think quietly to themselves anymore?)

When we have a minute or two of down time, we open the old smart phone and review our "likes" and comments, while comparing ourselves to everyone else's virtual reality we create for ourselves via filters, lighting, angles, and #tbt's. The smart phone really has changed everything.  I'll save my rant about reality TV for another post...but seriously, how many reality TV shows are on now?...they dominate all stations.

Does this scene look familiar? 

The Baby Boomers (born post WWII to mid 60's) didn't have the luxury to ask someone out on a date via text...or check their Tinder page. Here's another question, do people even write letters anymore? The "Best Generation" (born in the 20's and 30's) couldn't fax, email, or send a Snap to their boo or best bud (is the hand written note or thank you card a lost art?)

What I'm trying to say is that the word PATIENCE is almost non-existent. Instant gratification is at an all-time high. From binge watching entire seasons on Netflix to becoming an overnight celebrity on YouTube....the term "hard-work" and "paying your dues" have been lost...not just with Millennials or Generation Y (early 2000's to present)...this includes grown folk too.

Here's my point, many people think that being "rich" or success happens overnight...or that being famous is the highway to happiness. I'm here to tell you that couldn't be further from the truth. Stop waiting for the homerun and start playing "small ball"...do the little things, hustle, bust your butt, break your dreams into smaller goals. Add those little things up over time and you'll get big things. Being grateful for what you have now will create more opportunities to receive a life of more abundance later. Playing the blame game and being a victim will get you nowhere.

You want to get paid like Bill?  Work as hard as Bill.

Here's another thing, many people quit the moment there's a set back, failure, or adversity. This is why there are so few extremely successful people. The system is designed that way. It's designed to keep those types of people out. Trust me, the people who win the most have failed the most. They simply view failure differently.

The average Joe sees failure as a roadblock, where successful people see failure as a building block. 

Obsessing over only outcomes is a recipe for disaster. Being consumed by what you perceive other people think of you and making that a huge part of how you create your self worth is not the way to live.

The path to success is never a straight line

My life didn't change until I learned that gratitude is the real currency. Self love, forgiveness, and acceptance is where rest and peace are found. Wealth is in relationships and living in community with others - and contributing to that greater good is where fulfillment lives. Progress and personal development is the ultimate status symbol. Fulfillment is understanding and trusting what God created you to do...and then doing it...not for other's appraisal but for simply living in your gift. No one's strength and talent is too small or insignificant. You were made for a reason. You are chosen. You are worthy. You are more than your profile page.

People who do something with the intent to be "rich" or "famous" need to find a new motive. Those two are like sugar and carbs, they taste good, but will burn out fast and are unhealthy if they are the only source that you fill yourself with.

My children's generation have not been classified with a name yet, but for those of you who have kids like Kendra and I, let's model a new vision of "what Happy looks like?" My dream is when asked the same question the younger generation (including Baylor, Bellamy, and Winnie) will say:

• Self love and self awareness

• Being generous and contributing to others

Sue me. I'm a dreamer. So here's my advice: Work hard. Be patient. Put your phone down. Invest in your personal development. Know that you will rise faster by serving others. Love yourself without the "likes." Oh, and take walks with your family to Starbucks.

That is all. 

UNLEASH THE LION

My little cubs: Baylor, Winnie, and Bellamy

Before I put each of my 3 kids to bed at night I say the same prayer with them:

1. Thank you God for this amazing gift.
2. Please protect them and keep them safe.
3. I pray that they love You and put You first.
4. I pray that they love themselves and are confident in who they are and how they are made unique and special.
5. I pray that they love and serve others.

What is interesting here is that the 4th one is the longest.  This 4th prayer might be the hardest and most complicated.  This 4th request might be the difference in how they process failure, success, and all the challenges life throws at us.  

In essence what I am asking God is that my children have self-confidence.

In the end, God has the final say, but I believe that He also gives us free-will...and one of the most powerful forms of free-will we have is our self-image - how we see ourselves.  Your self-image sets the stage for what you expect out of yourself, how you let others treat you, and what you get out of life.

Here's a story to help me explain:  

One day in the jungle, a Lion, his Lioness, and their cub Ayo where out on a morning walk together.  Unfortunately, a gang of hunters spotted them and went in for the kill.  Seeing this the Lion picked up and threw Ayo into the bushes and he and his bride sacrificed themselves to save their boy.  The cub was safe, but abandoned...Ayo cried and cried because he was scared and ached for his parents.  

Luckily though, not much time had passed and a herd of sheep came by and adopted the lion cub.  Ayo grew up with this herd of sheep and even came to believe that he was a sheep.  Ayo ate like a sheep, baaa'd like a sheep, followed others like a sheep, and was timid like a sheep.  One day several years later, the new Alpha Lion and King of the Jungle, Desta, was on the outer rim of the jungle and spotted the sheep.  He ran after them, but stopped in shock when he saw another lion.  All the sheep scattered and fled, including Ayo.  Desta cornered Ayo and said, "What's wrong with you?!" What are you doing with these sheep?"  Ayo replied, "Please have mercy on me, please don't kill me."

Desta couldn't believe what he was seeing.  He even asked Ayo to roar, but all Ayo did was baaaa like a sheep.  Disgusted, Desta grabbed Ayo and took him to the nearby river.  He told him to look at his reflection in the water.  Ayo looked down and saw a beautiful and powerful mane.  He looked back at Desta, then back at the reflection, and back again several times.  Desta said, "You are a Lion!  Now roar like one!"  Ayo puffed out his chest and tried, but all that came out was a weak growl.  Desta swiftly slapped Ayo accross the face with his powerful paw and said again, "You are a Lion!  The King of the Jungle!...now roar like one!"  Ayo looked at his paws, saw his sharp claws; he opened his mouth and saw his enormous teeth; he looked again into the river and a flash back of his brave father came to him.  Just like that, his self image change.  Ayo then stood up and roared the loudest roar the jungle had ever heard.  All corners of the jungle could hear this thunderous and powerful sound.  Ayo's days as a sheep were over.

HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF: AS A LION OR A SHEEP?

You and only you have the power to make that choice.  Do you see yourself living a life in abundance or scarcity?  Achieving your dreams and being the best version of you starts in the mind.  Take a moment to think about all the negative thoughts you have been telling yourself; stop thinking about what the doubters or haters have said about you; flush away your past failures; dismiss thinking of a future where you are not just absolutely crushing it.

Lets take a lesson from The King himself, LeBron James and do "The Silencer." LeBron has consistently quieted the doubters (3 rings, brought a championship to Cleveland, coming back being down 3 games to 1 vs. Golden State).  Usain Bolt paid homage to the King, by winning his 3rd 100 meter and 200 meter Golds at the Rio Olympics - many didn't believed he could do it AGAIN...then he hit 'em with The Silencer.  Here are the steps (I saw this on ESPN's Instagram last week):

I love the caption...And then he hit 'em with The Silencer

1. Push your hands down, while you lift your knees up (do this twice) - this represents pushing down your suppressive thoughts.
2. Make a fist and pound your chest 2 times - this represents, you ringing the bell for a new era, a new you...you are pumping up your Lion Heart.
3. Now, let out a roar so loud that everyone on the block can hear - Unleash the Lion Within!

Silence YOUR self doubt and often false perception of what you might think OTHERS think of you.  This exercise is the first step to changing your self image.  Believe that you are chosen.  Know that you are loved.  Trust that you are created to do something so amazing that only God could have planned it.  Start raising your expectations of yourself and find someone like Desta to knock some sense into you, inspire you, and reinforce that you HAVE THE POWER!!!...my 6th prayer is that you love yourself and UNLEASH the LION inside of you.  Start being the best version of you TODAY! 

WHAT IS YOUR WHY?

When your WHY is big enough, you will find your HOW.

Why do you do what you do?  What motivates you?  Have you ever spent time to think about it?  If you have, good for you.  If you haven't, it's time you started.  This is my last post to finish my series of solidifying what your personal brand is all about...and I think it very well could be the most important.

The first step at figuring out what drives your behavior is discovering the real reason why you get out of bed each day.  It could be money, recognition, providing for your family, proving somebody wrong, desire to be the best...this list could be endless.  If your "Why"is not well actualized, it is very difficult to achieve the results you desire...in this case, you "PRESS:"

• Pressure...it's hard to have lasting success when you are contanstantly in a state of pressure
• Retaliation/Revenge...motives of getting even and revenge are unhealthy and short lived
• Expectations of others...you have to want it and believe it
• Someone else's goal...if your motive and goal isn't yours, how can you truly commit? 
• Stuck...when you feel you have no way out or are stuck, panic and stress take over

When your motives are in the wrong place, you will PRESS.

When you PRESS, you will not sustain success.

Simon Sinek, author of the book Start With Why explains it very well. Organizations (or people for that matter) that do not thrive or even reach their full potential, is because they are starting at the wrong place. He calls it, "The Golden Circle." Most companies or people when looking at accomplishing their goals start in this order: 1) What is it that we/I do, 2) How do we/I do it, and 3) Why do we/I do it?

That's the wrong way. Here's the right way...I just saw that Apple has over 1 billion devices being used in the world today. Why has Apple been so massively successful? Notice earlier I said "devices" not computers. Apple did start out has a computer company, but because of Steve Jobs' vision and creating a clear "Why": to creat innovative, quality technologies that are user friendly. Their Why was never we are a "computer company"....no sir, that could be their "What." Their Why is to be an "innovator"....iPods, iPhones, iPads, MacBooks don't look or perform like desk top computers. This is an example of the importance of starting with Why.

Consumers love innovative, products that make life easier and more enjoyable.  In this case, they connect with the Why...that is why they buy Apple. Start with WHY, and the rest will fall into to place. Another example is the creator of Tom's shoes. Their motto is "One for One." For each shoe they sell, they will donate a pair of shoes to someone in need. Now that is a Why I can get behind!

Ok, you might be thinking enough with the business examples, what about ME?!...here goes. Think about a time in your life when you were so committed, so driven, and so focused on accomplishing something, you couldn't be stopped. Maybe it was finally dating your love interest, landing that job, losing weight, quitting a bad habit, or supporting a child or loved one. You probably said to yourself, there is no going back, this is my purpose, this is my vision, there was no backup plan...you were all in!

 If you can combine that drive and hunger with doing something you love...that is an amazing combination! What are you passionate about? What are you really good at? Leverage those to help create your Why.

What is it that you want? The Bible says, "Ask and you shall receive." Having a clear Why will take you there. We need to get our mind, body, and soul into that "state," that frame of mind, in "the zone."

A few of you might cringe when you are asked, "What is your passion?" For a lot of young people and even adults, that is a tough one. While on a plane a few weeks ago, I listened to a TED Talk on the topic of creativity. One of the presenters was the author Elizabeth Gilbert, from the book Eat, Pray, Love (over 10 million sold and was made into a movie staring Julia Roberts). I learned 2 things from her that might help with establishing your Why:

1) If you don't have a crystal clear PASSION, then ask yourself this question, "What am I CURIOUS about?" Your curiosity in a subject, service, thing, or type of people, will help lead you to your Why.

2) During the creative process, you cannot be afraid to fail. Fear of failure is the #1 killer of creativity. This mindset, retools how to look at failure and outcomes...there is no finish line, just growth and creation. We need to buy our own Why!

Author of the book Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert

Now onto Step 3), which could be most important: what drives you besides money? Money and status come and go. When your Why goes deeper, trust me, the money will come. Remember, the PROCESS is more important than the OUTCOME. The journey is tough. There will be set backs. Your Why gets you out of bed; your Why helps you overcome hardships; you're Why helps you get back up when you are knocked down. If your Why doesn't do this, it's time for a new one. Without a strong and clear Why, you will be lost. 

Here is my Why: I used to live a life full of insecurities. I was constantly judging myself, and being my worst critic.  I set unreal expectations for myself. I didn't celebrate wins because they were expected...but I would consistently beat myself up if I failed. I've learned that there is hope. Contribution and growth are premiums, failures and obstacles are blessings and opportunities. Wealth isn't in money or accolades, it's in relationships and helping people...I've come out the other end of the tunnel. I want to share the light and peace that gratitude and service provide...how faith never fails. Why am I doing this blog, it's simple: to give people the tools to become they BEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES.

It's time to come up with your Why. Think about it, write it down, tell someone, and start living it!!!

STRENGTHS - Part II

Strengths Part II - Do What You Where MADE TO DO

Think about a moment in your life when you were in the "zone."  When you were filled with energy; when the right decisions came easy...when you were truly PRESENT in the moment.  During this time you were creative without trying, you felt completely fulfilled.  These moments, unfortunately don't come as often as we'd like.  What if your job or role was doing that activity all the time?  This is called playing to your strengths.

Many people fail because they LACK SELF-AWARENESS - they are focusing on the wrong things and not going ALL IN on what they are good at and deeply enjoy.

Even this image has a strength and a weakness...is that a bowling ball?

Playing to your strengths sounds simple, but most people do not live in this state.  Gallup Press, who is a leader in strength development, found that less than 20% of people play to their strengths.  Why is this?  Well, life happens.  We go to school and most of the time our parents and teachers spend a majority of the time focusing on where we are weak.  A group of parents were asked this question: Your child comes home with a report card, which shows several subjects where they earned high grades and one subject where they receive a low grade - how would you handle it?  77% of the parents said they would spend all of their time and energy in the subject where their child is not strong in.

Now I'm not saying that settling for bad grades is ok...definitely not.  But in life, investing time, money, and energy in something you are not good at or enjoy might not be the best use of your valuable resources.  Many believe that they can gain the most growth in their areas of weakness.  Well, that is not totally true.  Actually, it has been studied that people develop the most in their areas of strength (Gallup).  Spending all your time trying to develop where you are most weak might not give you the most bang for your buck.

"I suck at 99 percent of stuff, but I go all out on that 1 percent I'm good at."

-Entrepreneur Extraordinaire, Gary Vaynerchuk. 

The more I study game-changing people, the more and more I'm lead to this simple mindset and strategy: Play to your strength and don't get over-consumed by your weaknesses.  The most successful leaders, teachers, coaches and managers understand this principle.  They are able to get the most out of their constituents because they look for the strengths in their people and play to them.  This approach helps people feel inspired, engaged, and more valuable...thus increases success.

Think about what you are really good at and love doing within your job.  We all have things we don't enjoy and activities that really fill us up.  What if you get so good at the parts you enjoy that you create leverage for yourself?  You become such an expert and an asset in your strength that your company, team, or organization (or maybe a different company) asks you to do more of it...maybe even make that one thing (what you love to do) something you do all day everyday?  

THERE ARE 2 MYTHS ABOUT YOURSELF, according to Marcus Buckingham, who is an author, speaker, and expert in the field of developing one's strength:

1. As you grow older, you change.  

2. You grow the most in the areas you are the weakest.

We definitely improve and evolve, but at the core of who we are - what we enjoy, our disposition, what we gravitate to, what stimulates, gives us energy and satisfaction, and taps into our imagination doesn't change a great deal from when we were children.  What I'm trying to figure out is why the vast MINORITY of people spend more time enhancing their strengths vs. were they are weak.  For many, their survival instinct is stronger than their success instinct.  Many of us fall into the survival trap of life for several reasons - we graduate and have to get a job; we have bills to pay; maybe you were/are pressured to live a certain lifestyle by your family, close friends, significant other/spouse; and then the cycle continues.  Its time to stop that cycle now.

DON'T SEEK TO SIMPLY SURVIVE.  SEEK TO SUCCEED!

So how can you be lastingly successful?  Build on your strengths!  Leverage your strengths!  Commit to your strengths!  Life is hard and they call it work for a reason...often times its not fun. You might be thinking, "OK, OK, Collin I hear you, focus on my strengths...I get it...but I'm not totally clear on what my strengths are."  Think of strengths as not only what you are good at, but also:

• What you deeply enjoy doing
• Comes easy to you
• Makes you feel fulfilled
• Never get tired of
• Wish your whole job was that activity  

Steve Jobs noted once when speaking to a large audience that you must be passionate about what you are doing if you want to have success.  If you are not, you will fail because the grind is real; there are set-backs, challenges, and adversities.  Doing what we love, believe in, and are passionate about will help us stay on that straight path of growth, fulfillment, and achievement.  Whether its music, investing, make-up, hair, sales, cutting grass, problem solving, fixing, teaching, building, connecting people, serving others.....YOU CAN MAKE A LIVING AND A LIFE DOING WHAT YOU LOVE! 

Here are a few strategies to better pinpoint your strengths and improve your self awareness:

1. For 1-2 weeks make a list...draw a line down the middle.  On the left side, write down all the things that you enjoyed doing; what you loved; activities that made you the most happy; things you truly excelled in.  On the other side, write down another list of things you avoided, procrastinated, and hated doing.  This activity should help you narrow your search.
2. Make another list...if money was no object and you were set for life, 
• What would you do with your time?  
• Who would you spend your time with?  
• Who would you serve and help?
3.  Ask 5 people closest to you to tell you the truth about yourself - what do they see as your strengths...what do they think you do well? 
4. Check out StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath to help you discover your top 5 strengths here.

Utilize one of if not all of these tools to do more of what you love at work, or start a new path of fulfillment by focusing on your strengths.

Here's some motivation for you - you only have one life to live.  How are you going to spend your one shot at this game of life...surviving or thriving?  Its time to thrive.  Its time to spend more time developing, enhancing, and focusing on your strengths.  Start today!

Watch one of my favorites, Gary V. talk about playing to your strengths below...disclaimer: Some colorful language is used in this video :)  Shout out to Airam Alvarez for sharing Gary V's YouTube clips to me several months ago...follow her on IG & FB - she posts great stuff!

STRENGTHS - Part I

STRENGTHS: You are MADE WELL // What you are MADE TO DO.

Part I: You are MADE WELL

So as I'm writing this I am on an airplane flying back to Seattle from a work trip in Montana.  I had the pleasure of spending the evening and morning with my dear friends from college – Matt and Sara Kegel.  They have a cabin on one of the most beautiful picturesque sites in the world, Holter Lake, which is about an hour south of Great Falls.

 

Nothing like a Montana sunset.

After swimming with the kids and going on an amazing boat ride looking at mountain goats, bald eagles, a mother deer and fawn, rolling hills and mountains so beautiful you’d swear you died and gone to heaven (they say Montana is God’s country)…I found myself falling back into an old habit.  Once we got back inside the cabin, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  For those of you who have followed my blog, might remember that I have mentioned in more than one occasion that I am a bit on the vain side.  My vanity and insecurities popped up again.  I looked in the mirror and thought, “Dang, my hair sure looks on the thin side right now…I wish I had hair like Matt.”  I guess that’s what swimming in the lake and going 45 mph on a boat will do to you (two places you probably wouldn’t find Donald Trump for obvious reasons).

Most people and DEFINITELY most guys are too prideful to discuss or bring up things about themselves that they are not happy with.  We as flawed humans are consumed and often times obsess over our blemishes instead of focusing on and playing up our strengths.  For many years I was one of those people.  I could have dozens of outstanding qualities, but like many people, I’d generate a majority of my self-worth and self-efficacy (or lack thereof) by focusing on what I view or think other people perceive as flaws.  If you can relate to this do a Zoolander Blue Steel look for me… “Hansel so HOT right now”…(I watched Zoolander 2 on the flight to MT and actually really liked it)… “What is that, a Reading Center for ANTS!?”  Ok, enough with the Zoolander quotes.

What do you see - a young or old lady? When you look in the mirror do you focus on your strengths or perceived blemishes?

Many, like I sometime do, fall into the trap of comparing one isolated area that we feel is inferior to somebody else – whether it’s one’s appearance, skill set, trait, or circumstance.  Many take it to a very unhealthy place and base what they see on TV, movies, magazines, and now more than ever – social media as their barometer on how they should look, act, and feel.  

I’m here to encourage you to stop those thoughts.  Instead, focus on your strengths, strong traits and physical features that are unique and special compared to others.  God made you just the way you are supposed to be made.  If you are living your life constantly comparing how you look and your skill sets as inferior…snap out of it!  I don’t care how attractive or how someone looks…even Brad Pitt or Gigi Hadid look in the mirror and don’t like something about themselves.

 True beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  Insecurities and self-defeating thoughts will only hold you back from being the best version of you.  Focusing on your flaws is an endless game that you cannot win.  Guess what…we all are flawed.  We all have things about ourselves that we don’t like…no matter who we are.  Here’s the thing, If you fall into this camp and are really unhappy with something about yourself, then  DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT and STOP COMPLAINING and feeling DEFEATED!

Aside from focusing on one’s physical appearance, we need to spend more time focusing on what we are good at – our natural abilities – specialized skills or traits that we possess.   If we continue to compare ourselves to everyone else and think we need to be an expert in everything, that’s another recipe for disaster.  Strengths are the great equalizer.  When you meet someone for the first time, have an important business meeting with a new client, or come across somebody that possess a skill that you don’t…just remember that you have a unique set of skills that they do not…therefor they are no better or worse than you – just different!  This shift of how you perceive yourself and others is LIFE CHANGING!

A Harvard Business Review study revealed breakthrough research on how humans perceive themselves versus others.  They created a study where they introduced people to other people and asked them how they perceived the other person.  Person #1 usually responded by giving feedback like:

• Person #2 seems smarter than me
• They have a better sense of style
• They seem more confident
• They look content and relaxed

An interesting finding was that when they asked person #2 the same question, they gave similar feedback about person #1…they perceived that person as more affluent, put-together, or even “cooler” than them.  Wow, right?  Now I know why girls always say, "She looked at me funny."  That's probably because the girl was actually thinking, "Hmm, she is really cute." 

Start taking control of how you see yourself.  If you fall into the pattern of focusing on your flaws, make today the day, you spend time highlighting your strengths, being grateful how you are unique, and remember:

You can’t change the world if you’re like everybody else!

Part II of STRENGTHS – what you were MADE TO DO, I’ll discuss how you can improve your finances and overall life satisfaction by going all in on your strengths in your career.  Enjoy this AMAZING WEEKEND! 

A 180 Degree Turn is Only a Matter of 1.5

Ideas are just ideas WITHOUT COMMITMENT

Goals are simply goals WITHOUT ACTION

Dreams are just dreams WITHOUT EXECUTION

I'm down here in Bend, Oregon for a conference at the beautiful Sunriver Resort.  Its 90 degrees + all weekend.  They just got a new pool last year, there's golf, trails, shops, and cool places to eat...one problem, my family is not with me.  So what do I do when I have free time, alone?...I read about or watch YouTube videos of inspiring people.  The old me, would probably go see a movie, dink around with my phone and all my social media apps, or binge on Netflix (with nobody to chill with...poor me).

For some reason, those things that I just listed do not fill me up like they used to.  Since I started this blog I have been researching almost obsessively what causes success...looking for habits, traits, and philosophies of ordinary people who do extraordinary things.

One common denominator of people who have extreme success is they do more with their time. 

I get it, after a long hard days work, putting out fires, grinding, commuting to and from work, dealing with people, you need time to decompress and disengage for a bit.  TV is a great outlet, spending time with our loved ones in my opinion is the best outlet, and many of us turn to our phones to escape from the rat race of life.  But for too many, this phone epidemic is getting a little out of hand (I haven't even gotten into video games).  From games, to various apps, to emails and text messages, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc.  There is a name for people who have a cell phone addiction...its called "nomophobia."  People create a neurological addiction, where they cannot be separated from there phones, laptops, iPads, or tablets...similar to craving cigarettes or alcohol.

My challenge to you is to invest in yourself 1.5 hours per day, 5 days a week.  The weekends are all yours.  I promise you, no one ever looks back on their life and says, "I wish I would have played Candy Crush or World of Warcraft more," or "My life would have been a whole lot better if I spent more time on Instagram."  No one ever reflects and says, "If only I would have slept more, watched more TV, binged more shows on Netflix, or played more video games."

Don't be like this dude..get off the couch!

Here is how you can do a 180 degree turn that will set your goals and dreams in motion...it starts by carving out 1.5 hours per day, 5 days a week, which is 7.5 hours per week, 30 hours per month.  Try this for six months and you'll have invested 180 hours (hence the 180 degree transformation) into yourself.

1. Look at all your social media apps 3 times per day and that's it: morning, afternoon, and once at night.  That's plenty of time to evaluate all your likes and commenting on post that make you smile.
2.  When you come home, engage with your loved ones with no distractions: No TV, put the phones away, and do like they did in the 1950's, talk and check in with each other.
3. Limit your "shows" to no more than 2: There's nothing wrong with having a go-to show or two, but 10 is a liiiiitle too much.
4. Focus 1.5 hours of your time doing something productive: After you've engaged with your family, ate dinner, put the kids down, checked your phone for a few minutes, invest in your development.
5. The world is your oyster: during this time, read a book, learn a new skill, get inspired, listen to a podcast, practice your craft, write, meditate, exercise, call and talk to a mentor, finally turn your idea into a small business...there are so many possibilities for self improvement!

Feel like you you don't have enough time to get everything done?  Here's a novel idea...wake up earlier!  Take care of the most critical things you need to get done first, so you free yourself up to do what you want.  Stop being like every one else who has a million excuses and isn't happy with where they are in their life.  Take action!

As each day passes, its a lost opportunity to get better. Live with no regrets!

We only have a finite number of days on this earth.  Only God knows that number.  Maximize each day!  You and only you have the power to make daily decisions on how you spend your time...are you going to improve and get better or settle or get worse?

Make the decision today that you'll wish you made 5, 10, 15 years from now.

So what area do you want to improve?  What new skill do you want to develop?  Turn your passion project into a reality.  Finally create your side project into a legit small business.  For you non entrepreneurs, learn to play the piano or guitar, improve your finances and knowledge in investing, write a book, or improve your fitness.  Like I said, the world is your oyster.  Commit to yourself 1.5 hours per day for 5 days a week for 6 months, and your life will take a 180 degree turn for the better.  Set a goal, create a plan, and get after it!!!  Breaking big things down into little chunks, makes what seems impossible, possible.

So how did I come up with 1.5 hours, 5 days a week for 6 months?  Here's how: Scientific research shows it takes 66 days to form a habit...so that takes up the first 2 months, just forming a habit of making time to invest in yourself.  From there, you can further specialize or add multiple new skills to your repertoire.  Josh Kaufman, author, blogger, and motivational speaker, says you can actually learn a new skill in 20 hours...not the 10,000 hour rule suggested by best selling author Malcolm Gladwell. 

If you don't invest in yourself, no one else will.  1.5 hours per day, 5 days a week, will allow you to do just that.  Go for it!  You will thank yourself in the future.

LOVE TO WIN / HATE TO LOSE

Answer this question:

Do you love to win or hate to lose?

During an interview over 2 years ago, I was asked that question.  "Interesting query," I internalized...(since I use the word query on the reg), while I frantically tried to process this simple yet complex question.  I responded by saying, "Both.  I love to win and I hate to lose."  The hiring manager challenged my answer and said, "You can't chose both, you have to pick one."  "Well, I suppose I hate to lose then if I have to pick," I replied.

Let me preface that this was one of the worst interviews I've ever done.  The hiring manager was one of the biggest jerks I've ever come across in an interview setting.  He was hardcore, never smiled, challenged every single response I gave, and I let him rattle me.  He asked me if I was a rule follower...I said yes.  He then asked quickly, "Well do you ever speed?"  I said, "Sometimes I go above the speed limit, I guess."  He said, "So then you are a liar...you do break the rules."  Cray cray right?

OK, I digress.  Back to the question of whether you love to win or hate to lose.  The one thing about this horrific interview was it exposed me to a really beautiful question that challenges one's core values, motivation, and fundamental belief system.  As a sales trainer, I often use this question to explore a new hire's paradigm and approach to sales.  Most often, these new hires and other people that I ask, say "both."  A close second is "I hate to lose."  Hating to lose is the dogma that has been ingrained in most high-achievers, go-getters, type A's, athletes, and sales people all over the world.  Select sports, advanced placement programs, and special clubs are at an all-time high for children and the ages are getting younger and younger.  For me, playing select sports at a young age, the idea that winning is the only option was implanted in my psyche early on.  Many, like me, received self worth and our identities based on wins and losses.

To error is human, but to forgive is not the policy of this company.   

Three out of my first four years in medical sales, I received a phone call informing me whether I was able to keep my job or not due to down-sizing and layoffs.  Luckily, my sales performance was always good enough to stay employed.  Winning and losing is often times a matter of receiving a paycheck or not...this is true, but as I've become older and wiser, I feel like many of us are missing the point.

There is another group of parents and individuals that believe every one deserves a medal, a golden star, and a trophy for simply participating.  "We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings," they say.  I unequivocally do not fall into that category or agree with this set of beliefs.  I believe this is a huge problem that manifests entitlement, complacency, and narcissism.  In life, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.  You get the girl, or you don't.  You land the job, or they offer it to someone else.  You get accepted into the college of your dreams, or your application is denied.

Greatest rapper of all-time, Y or N?

The point I'm trying to make is that failure is a key component of one's development.  Two very different individuals, but visionaries in their own unique way - Tupac Shakur and Nelson Mandela - both are quoted in saying, "I never lose.  I either win or I learn."  So many focus on the outcome instead of the process...their growth.  If we spend more time channeling our energy in our preparation, attitude, focus, and effort, the outcome is irrelevant.  Growth, knowledge, stretching oneself, and improvement should be the emphasis.  If you look at goal attainment this way, trust me, the wins will come.

Seek PROGRESS, not perfection.

When you bust your ass, give it all you got, and leave it all out there, and come up short...there's nothing wrong with that.  Obsessing over perfection will paralyze you.  This approach, of looking at outcomes from a different perspective, might actually help you win more.  Being clutch is doing what you normally do when it matters most.  Being able to lay your head down at night in peace whether you win OR lose, because you are judging yourself on a different set of criteria vs. the W or L column, is I think the only way to live...and perform at your best.  Judging myself on my preparation, being present in the moment, and leaving no ammo left (meaning I spilled my guts going as hard, as intense as I could...with a purpose, passion, and a plan)...if I lose, I can live with that.  The next step, is to evaluate where I fell short, adjust, improve, and try again.

Wisdom from one of the greatest of all-time: Sweetness

Many of you have viewed losing the same way I did for most of my life...you give it all the power.  This thought process forces people to miss the 5 foot putt, or choke when they have to perform in front of their manager or a really important client.  When the fear of losing is absent, and you shift that energy away from the black and whiteness of a win or a loss and evaluate and reward yourself based on a different set of criteria, you will in turn be more clutch.  Stop giving fear the power!  You are not defined by your failure, but how you react to it (learn, grow, and improve).  Losing the battle is not detrimental if your focus is on winning the war...having a macro perspective vs. micro...the power of perspective changes everything.

Life is short...celebrate the wins, learn from the losses.  Adversity, obstacles, and challenges often times are our greatest gift.  I don't enjoy losing, I just look at it differently.  My self-efficacy can be found in the E & G column (Effort and Growth)...not by wins and losses.  

So now my answer to the question is: 
I LOVE TO WIN!