HABITS

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle  

There are 168 hours in a week. If you take out work and sleep, that adds up to 100 hours (56 hours of sleep and 44 hours of work per week...you may be only getting 44 hours of sleep and working over 50 hours...but, you get the point).  This leaves you with 68 hours left.  That's almost 3 days worth of time each week.  Listen, I know the common statements that come up about being busy - kids, activities, work related stuff that fills up your plate, etc.  My wife Kendra and I talk about this a lot, how so many people glorify the word BUSY.  Hey, everyone is busy!  You don't get a special badge because you have a lot going on.  Can we think of a better word than the cliche response when asked,
"Hey, how are things going?"...the common response, "Busy, busy, busy."

My question is this, what are you doing with your time?  What habits and routines have you formed with your 68 hours, good or bad? Are you maximizing each hour and each day?  Are you prioritizing the right things?

Charles Duhigg, a business reporter for the New York Times explains how people and even companies have achieved a great deal of success by altering habits.  Duhigg discusses this in his book, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business.  By design or sheer luck, these people have been tapping into a powerful psychological pattern called: the "habit loop," which is a three part process. "First," Duhigg says, "there's a cue, which is kind of a trigger for an automatic behavior to start unfolding.  There's a routine, which is the behavior itself...and then there's a reward, which tells our brain whether we should store this habit for future use or not."

If you are ready to make a change in your life, then that change requires you to create a new habit.  There are many different sources that make claims on how long it actually takes to form a new habit.  "A small dose of discipline develops into a long-lasting habit," says Gary Keller, author of The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results.  Keller notes how researchers at the University College of London determined that it takes on average 66 days to acquire a new habit.  Depending on the type of habit you're trying to build, some will require fewer days and some more, but the research showed that 66 day's represents what they called the "sweet spot."

If there is one thing you do today, please read this book summary for The One Thing.  It will take around 5 minutes to read, but the reward will be worth it.  The premise of the book focuses on this question, "What's the ONE Thing you can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?"  The whole entire book is based around that single question, and the power of organizing every area of your life around ONE Thing (per area).  Focusing on achieving this ONE Thing per day, will change your habits for the better.

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Mental Conditioning specialist, Trevor Moawad, was working with NFL running back Fred Taylor.  Taylor's career was at a crossroads.  He was getting older, he had a recent string of injury ridden seasons, and his production on the field had declined.  This is where Moawad stepped in.  They closely examined what the Pro Bowl players and elite teammates on the Jacksonville Jaguars were doing that contributed to their success.  They were looking to find a commonality that Taylor could tap into.  They found a variety of factors that helped with performance, but the one thing that they found that the best players did was show up to the Jaguar facility 2 hours early each day (before meetings started).

Taylor for years, used to arrive at work right when he had to.  His new plan for that season, was to arrive at the Jaguars facility at 6am, which meant more time in the training room keeping his body healthy, more time watching film, extra reps in the weight room, and keeping a consistent habit and routine.  This one simple thing - showing up to work 2 hours early each day produced fantastic results.  Taylor had one of the best seasons of his career.  He stayed healthy all season and rushed for over 1,000 yards.  This One Thing helped make all the difference.

Just like Fred Taylor, its time to reassess your habits.  What are you doing with your 68 hours each week?  Action item:

1. What is one habit you'd like to quit?...now is the time to supplement that with a more productive habit.
2. Revisit your goals...short term and long term.
3. For the next 2 weeks, each day, make a list of what you need to get done, and prioritize it in numeric fashion.  What is the ONE Thing you need to accomplish to "win the day"?  Focus on making that happen and you will find that by adding up those daily wins, you will produce long term results and better habits!

Good luck, I know you can do it!  Just focus one day at a time.  Today is the day to form winning habits!  Check back in as I will continue my series 30 Days of Gratitude and Service by discussing how to handle failure by being resilient...we all get knocked down, the ones who win in life, know how to get back up.

Believe Part II

Let me share about my experience with the Law of Attraction.  The basic premise of this concept is that thoughts become things.  Meaning, what we think about the most and believe will come true, often time does.  If you believe that good things will happen or bad things will happen, you are usually right.  Our brain is like a magnet.  What we are constantly thinking about, we often times attract in our lives.  God is in control of our lives and always has the final say, but He also gives us the freedom of free will, which includes how we think.

Some people are born with the advantage of consistently being a positive thinker and believing the best is yet to come, but the vast majority of us are not.  For many, including myself, this way of thinking is a learned skill.  When I switched companies almost two years ago, one of my colleagues shared with me the power that the Law of Attraction offers.  For one year, I read a plethora of books and articles on this topic and applied these teachings to my life.  I've created my own diagram on how to apply this way of of thinking (see below):

Law of Attraction Steps:

Step 1 - Be Grateful: In order to get into the right frame of mind, focus on all the things you are grateful for.  Those who are constantly bitter, stay bitter because they chose to focus on the wrong things.  Don't be bitter - be better!  Being grateful is the first step in achieving your goal.

Step 2 - Feel Good: Being grateful helps turn our internal frequency into a positive one, which helps us feel good inside.  Feeling good sends out a frequency (much like a cell phone tower) that attracts more positive things.  Think about past positive experiences, laugh, smile, dance, or do something nice for someone.  Our mind is like a television, when you feel positive and happy emotions inside, you are taking control of what pictures show up on the screen.  You will set your internal television channel into a positive one that creates happy results. 

Step 3 - Set a Goal: This one is simple...what is it that you want to achieve?  First, focus on what you are thankful for, then focus on feeling emotions of joy and happiness.  These two steps will help you determine what it is that you truly want and set your internal frequency to a positive one, which will open yourself up to receive more positive things.  Once you've decided what your goal is, write it down somewhere and look at it everyday (If you haven't, see my post on Goal Setting).

Step 4 - Visualize: Creative visualization is a mental technique that uses the imagination to create success and make dreams and goals come true.  Richard Bach once said, "To bring anything into your life, image that it is already there."  When you spend time imagining in vivid detail the sights, sounds, and feelings of acting out your goal, the odds of it coming true drastically improve.  This is a technique used by successful athletes and business men and women all over the world.  Check this article out: 8 Successful People Who Use the Power of Visualization  

Step 5 - Believe: Whatever the mind can conceive and BELIEVE, it can achieve.  You must believe with all of your mind, body, and soul that you can achieve your goal.  Belief is the single most important step in turning your dreams into reality.  Anyone who has ever achieved anything of significance, first believed in themselves...YOU CAN DO IT!  BELIEVE IN YOURSELF or no one else will. 

Step 6 - Achieve: When you do these 5 steps, you will achieve your goal.  Remember that success doesn't come overnight, but takes time and hard work as well.  Many people are looking for a quick fix.  However, when you apply this approach to your life and consistently practice these steps daily, you will see your life truly change.

X Factor: Serving and helping others magnifies what you attract in your life.  Love is the most powerful emotion in the world.  Serving and helping others is a close second.  When you live your life making love and service a main focus, you will attract deeper relationships, success, and true happiness...you will also receive more than you can ever imagine.

This approach helped my wife Kendra and I get our dream house, when it looked like it wasn't possible.  This technique has helped me reach monthly and yearly goals at work never seen before from a 1 or 2 year sales rep.  My life and job satisfaction have never been better.  I hope you apply these Law of Attraction techniques in your life as well - and make your dreams a reality!

Exercise: Close your eyes, and visualize that you already possess or have achieved your dream.  Imagine what you are wearing, the people around you, where you are, how it feels, and the praise you are receiving for achieving your goal.  Believe with all your might that you can achieve this goal.  I can't wait for you to apply this way of thinking to your life - and see what you WILL accomplish!

My next post I'll review the importance of creating strong habits.  I hope you are enjoying and seeing the benefits of this journey 30 Days of Gratitude and Service!

Believe Part I

"Confidence is at the root of so many attractive qualities, a sense of humor, a sense of style, a willingness to be who you are no matter what anyone else might think or say..."
                                                                                    - Wentworth Miller

Andrew Carnegie, the leader in the expansion of the steel industry during the late 1800's and early 1900's understood the power of serving others.  He was the Bill Gates and Warren Buffett of his time.  In 1901, Carnegie sold his steel company for $480 million dollars (that's $370 billion today), yet for nearly the last 20 years of his life, he had given 90% of his income away to charities, foundations, and universities.  He also did something possibly even more philanthropic.  During his booming years of pioneering the expansion of the steel industry, he recruited a young writer named Napoleon Hill to follow him and his wealthy business associates around and observe their behaviors.  Carnegie's goal was to have Hill write a book to be shared with the world on what traits, habits, and thought processes that were practiced by the wealthiest and most successful people at that time in America.  He wanted to share this knowledge with the world to hopefully help others be the best version of themselves.

After studying these behaviors for 20 years, Hill was able to drill down to one common thread that these successful people possessed.  After capturing these observations, he wrote one of the best selling business books of all time (70 million copies sold world wide) entitled Think and Grow Rich. What was the common trait that these individuals had?...self belief.

Hill introduced a concept he called, "The Law of Success," which is often called, "The Law of Attraction."  The Law of Attraction has been written about and shared by many (see The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne or The Magic of Thinking Big, by David Schwartz).  It is the philosophy that what Hill famously said, "Whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, it can achieve."  People who have unwavering conviction and belief in themselves, usually are the ones sitting on top of the food chain of life.  We all are going to hear "no" and sometimes fall flat on our face.  However, the ones that do not let these setbacks detract them, but continue to have unwavering faith in themselves, ultimately find success.

There are few athletes that exemplify the power of self belief more than Derek Jeter.  One can go on and on about his accomplishments - he's a 5 time World Champion, clutch performer in the post season, and Yankee record holder in many categories, but there are 2 Jeter stories that I love the most that deal with self belief (gotta represent #2 for The Captain!).

When Jeter was a young boy in Kalamazoo Michigan, he always dreamt of playing shortstop for the Yankees.  He was so passionate and focused on his goal that he pinned a Yankees hat, jersey, and baseball pants up on his wall and looked at them every day for many years.  Despite being from a cold state that didn't have the best track record of generating first round draft picks, Jeter truly believed and continually visualized himself as a Yankee.  Sure enough, his self confidence and belief paid off when he was selected with the 6th pick in the first round of the 1992 draft.  Jeter innately practiced the power of visualization during his youth.  While no one gave him a shot, he helped make his dream a reality by mentally picturing himself already accomplishing his goal.  

The other story I love about Jeter had nothing to do with an amazing clutch hit or game-saving play at shortstop.  It had to do with failure.  During his first full season in the Minor Leagues, Jeter set a record for the highest number of errors, a whopping 56!  Many scouts and even Yankee coaches considered moving him to the outfield.  But Jeter stuck with it; he didn't waver in his confidence, he put in the work and got better and better each year, later winning 5 Gold Gloves in the Majors at shortstop.  

These 2 stories about Jeter teach us a few things:

1. Do not limit your dreams or goals...remember: Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve...I also love what Russell Wilson often says, "Why not us?"  I'll ask a similar question..."Why not you?"  The "haves" versus the "have nots" often comes down to self belief.  You already have everything you need to be successful.  You just need to believe it!
2. The power of visualization is real.  When you consistently visualize yourself already achieving your goal - imagining yourself attaining what it is that you want - what you're wearing, your exact location, the smells, the sounds around you, etc - you will greatly increase the likelihood of making your dream a reality.  Make this a daily habit of picturing in your mind already achieving your goal and what it will feel like.
3. Do not let failure detour you from your goal.  Learn from your mistakes.  You are not defined by your failure.  All successful people fail...some hundreds of times.  The difference between the ones who succeed vs. the ones who fail is only a matter of getting back up!  Thomas Edison once said, "I haven't failed, I've just found 10,00 ways that won't work."

A goal without belief is like a car without an engine.  We can't make goals and hope they happen.  We must take control of our life and MAKE THEM HAPPEN, through determination and conviction. Check back in as I delve deeper into the Law of Attraction and the power of belief, while sharing a few personal stories to help bring this concept to life.  Happy Friday!!!

Creating Purpose Through GOAL SETTING

Imagine going on a road trip without a map or GPS to guide you to your desired destination.  You would get lost and it would take you much longer to arrive to where you wanted to go (and probably several useless detours, and money wasted on extra gas).  Living life without goals is pretty much the same thing.  People who are not setting goals are living life without a GPS system.  When you set a clear measurable goal, you will create a vision for your life, purpose for your actions, and you will undoubtedly arrive at your desired destination.

There was an eye-popping study from Harvard that looked at the impact of writing down goals (from the book, What They Don't Teach You in the Harvard Business School, by Mark McCormack).  Researchers followed Harvard MBA graduates 10 years after they graduated, and what they found was remarkable.

The study was simple, upon completing their degree, each graduate was asked this question:

"Have you set clear, written goals with your future and made plans to accomplish them?"

At the beginning of the study, the researchers found:

• 84% had no specific goals at all
• 13% had goals but they were not committed to paper
• 3% had clear, written goals and plans to accomplish them

10 years later they interviewed these graduates again, and the results were staggering:

• The 13% of the students who had goals were earning on average twice as much as the 84% who did not set goals.
•  The 3% who had clear, written goals were earning, 10 times as much as the other 97% put together.

Wow, right?!  Let's put that into perspective... 97% were making on average $50K per year, and 3% (who were writing down goals) were making $500K per year... that makes things pretty obvious.  When you have a clear focus on what you want to accomplish and think about it everyday, the likelihood that you will achieve it significantly increases.  This approach helps you answer this important question each day: Is what I'm doing right now going to help me achieve my goal?  

This is your internal GPS (Goal Performance System)...similar to what you use when you drive, but this one is for your journey in life.  If the actions and habits you consistently perform daily are not helping you reach your goal, than you probably shouldn't spend too much time with those tasks.  We all get side tracked every now and then, but those who write down their goals and focus on achieving them each day, are much more likely to stay on the path to success.

The first time I remember writing down my goals was going into my senior football season in high school.  I wrote down a team goal and a personal goal.  My goal was for our team to go to the state playoffs and that I would earn All-State honors.  I wrote these statements in a note card and taped it above my closet, so I'd look at it everyday before I got dressed.  So guess what happened?  Despite having a new coach, and losing the majority of our starters from the year before, we made it to the State Quarterfinals and I earned multiple All-State honors from several news outlets including the Seattle Times and Tacoma News Tribune.  It's one thing to have a goal, but you really have to believe that you can achieve it that makes it powerful.  I remember visualizing our team playing in the state playoffs, and also seeing my name in the paper on the All-State Team often throughout that season.  I was so pumped when it actually happened. 

I've seen my sales career greatly benefit from writing down my goals.  For the past 2 years (since I changed companies), I have really made this aspect of my business planning a big deal.  Each year, I write down how much money I want to make, what place in the rankings I want to finish, and how many customer orders I want to receive (monthly and for the year).  This formula has put me up on stage at our last two National Sales Meetings including a Rookie of the Year Award in 2014  and a Top Performer Award in 2015.  I've made more income than I've ever made in my life and I truly feel like my lens and perspective on what I need to accomplish each day is more clear then ever.

We can apply goal setting in our lives in more areas than just work or athletics...our marriage/relationships, parenting, our friendships, volunteering, and our hobbies all could benefit from writing down goals and looking at them each day.  So my challenge for you today during this 30 Days of Gratitude and Service is to write down 3 goals:

• Monthly goal
• Year goal
• A long term goal (at least 3-10 years out)

Write it down somewhere that you can look at it everyday.  This vision and road map will give you the direction and focus you need to be the best version of yourself and accomplish your dreams.  Good luck...I know you can do it!!!

TIP: Use this SMART format when writing down your goals.  Check back in for my next post on the power that belief and visualization has on making your goals a reality! 

POSITIVE THINKING

I love the parable about the two wolves constantly fighting in our mind.  One wolf is fear, anger, resentment, and self-doubt.  The other wolf is love, grace, optimism, and hope. It's not the wolf who is stronger or more powerful that wins, it's the one you feed the most.  The more you give into your negative thoughts, the stronger they become.  What I've experienced in my life is that one small negative thought turns into a big unstoppable force that holds us back from reaching our true potential. However, one positive thought has the power to change everything and grow into an unstoppable force of good.

Often times how we view a situation or even ourselves comes from our perception.  Depending on your self-talk, your perception can be accurate or way off.  I used to be unreasonably harsh on myself (in sports, academics, and pretty much everything else) and would jump to the wrong conclusions based on past failures or at times when I didn't perform at an unrealistic standard that I had set for myself. I feared future outcomes because I would allow my mind to relive past mistakes and spent my time worrying about people's reaction or opinion of me.

I was at a football camp my junior year of high school and during practice, dropped THREE deep balls in a row. Not only was it frustrating & embarrassing, but it shaped the way I would play football for the next 6 years. Every time I thought about going deep for a pass, that image of dropping that ball would flash in my mind. My fear of failing again (entirely based on a fluke practice, years in the past) was so much deeper than my belief in my abilities. It wasn't until after my college career that I felt confident enough to attempt a deep catch without reservation. This was entirely based on my negative thoughts invading my mind - I had no idea how much these thoughts controlled my mind & my body.

After spending time reading about & practicing positive thinking, I learned that it takes practice, self awareness, and is actually a learned skill. Just like I mentioned earlier that being grateful is a choice, having a positive outlook is also a choice.

Try to avoid these ways of thinking:

• "Black and white thinking" - no shades of gray or believing that you have to be perfect or not at all.  
• Avoid "personalizing" - making assumptions that you are personally to blame for anything that goes wrong and that every move you make will disappoint someone. 
• Avoid "catastrophizing" - this is when you assume the worse possible outcome will happen.

Use these techniques instead:

• Give yourself time to practice positive thinking - Rome wasn't built in a day and these habits take time and effort
• Do activities that make you happy (listen to an uplifting song, talk to a friend, think of a loved one, wear clothes that make you feel good, and my favorite - work out!)
• Surround yourself with positive people
• Set meaningful goals
• Create a "mantra" word that helps you remember to get your mind back on track to positive thoughts.

Identify your automatic negative thoughts and intentionally shift those thoughts to positive ones.  For example: "I have a presentation tomorrow, I'm going to be horrible."  Instead, pull from positive past experiences and times that you were successful.  Hold onto those memories and visualize yourself doing well.  I learned to create a "mantra" word that triggers my brain to refocus and think positively when an automatic negative thought pops into my mind.  It can be an acronym or a phrase you like that motivates you to be your best and helps you remember that "you can do it!"  Below are some examples of mantra words I've used:

• A.C.E. (Attitude, Concentration, Effort)
• Go Deep!
• I.T.M. (I'm The Man!)
• BE GREAT (Believe, Elevate others...Goals, Resilience, Effort, Attitude, Thankful)

Also, try to minimize external influences that stimulate your negativity.  Eliminate negative people, music, television, movies, or things that put you into a negative frame of mind. 

Take a look at this Thought Diagram I created.  Our thought life is made up of 4 quadrants (think back to when you used to play 4-Square at recess).  

The upper half of this diagram represents positive thoughts and the lower half are negative thoughts.  The left half represents the past, while the right side represents the future.  Try to focus your thoughts on the upper half of the diagram.  When you feel an automated negative thought come on, revert to past experiences of success and times of joy to get you out of that rut (a good best practice is to have several on the ready for when negative thoughts attack).  Make sure that you are consistently recognizing what you are grateful for, while expecting good things to come and visualizing success.  These thoughts are found in the upper right quadrant.  We should be spending 20% of our thought life in the upper left and 80% in the upper right section.  If you can practice these thought habits, you'll be well on your way to a better you!

TIP: Look into the book StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath. All too often, our natural talents go untapped and we devote more time fixing our shortcomings than developing our strengths.  To help you uncover your talents, this book and online assessment will help you discover your top 5 talents and focus on those gifts to the fullest.  This book might change the way you look at yourself and the world around you.

Happy Friday!  Hope you enjoy your weekend and begin to improve your thoughts to positive ones.  My next post will focus on the power of goal setting.  Talk to you soon!

FEAR

What are you afraid of that is holding you back? What are you avoiding? Let’s face it, we all have fears - they're natural & normal. Even the most successful people in their respective professions feel moments of anxiety and stress. Jerry Rice, the greatest wide receiver of all time, said that he felt fear before every football game. Grammy winner and multi-platinum selling artist, Adele, suffers from stage fright before every single performance. We all have moments of fear; the difference is who has the courage to face it?

For many, fear is debilitating, crippling, and paralyzing.  Depression and anxiety are draining the life out of millions of people each day. If we change our mindset and look at fear and stress from a different perspective, maybe we can learn to control some of our anxieties.

The emotion of fear is a needed response in times of crisis and danger.  The fight or flight switch in our brain keeps us out of trouble when something dangerous comes our way.  We become more alert, our heart beat increases, more oxygen is pumped through our veins, and adrenaline kicks in. These body responses are great if you are trying to avoid being hit by a car, but they can be to our demise when our physical safety IS NOT in danger.  Our mind can be our biggest strength, but also our biggest enemy.  We create moments of crisis in our minds that bring out these fight or flight emotions to avoid embarrassment and failure.  But if we can recognize that fear is often times a fake and a liar, then we can start to overcome these life-sucking thoughts and feelings.   

Fear is darkness.  In order to defeat darkness, we must shed light on our fears.  How do we let light conquer dark?  TELL SOMEONE!  Have the courage to be vulnerable and share with someone your fear.  Trust me, you are not alone.  Every single person on this planet deals with some form of anxiety, fear, and even depression at some point in their life.  No one is perfect.  Stop living your life thinking that you have to be perfect…you don’t.  We all have our own form of baggage.  Do not fear judgement.  Know that you are made uniquely special and that you are loved by more people than you probably even know.

Let me shed light on my darkness, my fear.  6^th grade was the year that I recognized that I had a slight stutter or stammer.  It was something small that I let grow into something big – as if when I became self-aware, I let my mind make it a bigger deal than it was.  Many people might have had no idea that I worried about this, but those in my inner circle noticed.  It got to a point my sophomore year in high school, that I was so afraid of messing up on a word, that I avoided reading out loud in class at all costs.  That same year I had a semester of Speech class, where we were graded on our public speaking.  The night before each speech, I felt like Jesus the night before he was crucified, praying, “God, please take this cup from me,” where he was sweating blood out of his forehead. I would get through my speeches, but it was painful, I’d avoid certain words, and I often times stumbled over myself.  It was embarrassing and I felt ashamed.  I didn’t talk to anyone about it; I just wore that burden and kept it all inside.  I didn’t seek help or let anyone know what I was going through…have you ever been through something similar, where you avoided telling someone you were hurting?

So, most of my adolescent and young adult life my biggest fear was public speaking.  I was comfortable talking to others one on one, but it would be a cold day in hell before I agreed to speak in front of a crowd. It wasn’t until one fateful day at the Denver airport about to fly home from my uncle’s wedding when my parents sat me down (I was 26 at the time), and said, “Collin, we think you could benefit from speech therapy.”  I thought to myself, “Oh my God, is it that bad?”  I felt embarrassed and ashamed…but why?  Isn’t that what parents and other loved ones in our lives are for? I reluctantly enrolled in speech therapy.  It was uncomfortable.  It was humbling.  It was scary.  But it was the best thing I ever did.  After going to speech therapy once a week for 3 months, I had made drastic improvements in my speech, which boosted my confidence and shook down my anxieties, though I wasn't completely done.

They say “Our greatest promise lies within our greatest pain.”  I continued to face my fear and starting going to Toastmasters (a club for people who practice public speaking in a group) weekly and was speaking with greater ease and more confidence each time.  Through a lot of practice and repetition, I became more and more confident and was loving my new found comfort speaking in formal situations. I faced my dragon and felt joy and rest in my soul.

Today, I seek out opportunities to speak in front of large groups.  In my current medical device sales position, I’m also a trainer for the westcoast.  If you would have told me 10 years ago, that I’d be presenting our new sales strategy to the entire sales force at a national sales meeting, I’d say no way!  I’ve accepted the fact that I do not have to be perfect to be effective.  If I mess up, people will not view me as a failure, but as human.  I have learned that the more I avoid speaking situations, the bigger hole I dig for myself and my confidence begins to sink.  However, the more I practice and create opportunities to present, the better I become. 

Remember, our greatest promise lies within our greatest pain…if you do what you fear the most, there is nothing you cannot do.  I find my deepest satisfaction and happiness when I do what I used to fear the most – speaking in public.  I still feel a few nerves and my heart beats fast like it used to before I present, but I’ve learned to speak positive thoughts to myself and not avoid, but ATTACK what I once feared the most.

So let me ask again, what do you fear?  What is holding you back from being the best version of yourself?  My challenge today is that you tell someone what is causing you anxiety and fear.  Shed light on your darkness.  You are not alone.  You have people who love you and are here to help you.  Seek professional help if needed.  TALK TO SOMEONE!  Create a plan to overcome your fear.  Do not sit.  Take action and control of your life, do not let fear control you.

We discussed in earlier posts about the power of gratitude and service.  Facing your fears is the next step to becoming the best version of you.  Check back later this week as I discuss the tools needed to conquer fear – Positive thinking and practicing positive self-talk.  Have a blessed day…in the end, know that you are made perfectly just the way you are and that God loves you!  You can do this!

Seek to SERVE

"So the last will be first, and the first will be last." - Matthew 20:16

In my previous post I discussed the power of gratitude and how having an attitude of gratitude shifts our mindset to focus on the good things we have in our life vs. the bad.  Making gratitude the foundation of building a new you is essential to sustaining happiness and success.  If gratitude is our foundation then SERVICE is the roof that we should live our lives under.

According to Stephen G. Post, professor of preventative medicine at Stony Brook University in New York and author of The Hidden Gifts of Helping, a part of our brain sends out feel good chemicals like dopamine, and possibly serotonin. These chemicals help us feel joy and delight, a "helper's high."  A common reaction is that "some people feel more tranquil, peaceful, serene; others, warmer and more trusting."

Kathy Gottberg, author and writer at SmartLiving365.com adds, "When we volunteer we often give ourselves deeper purpose and meaning and that nearly always leads to greater happiness.  Gottberg lists 7 advantages to serving and helping others:
1. More happiness
2. Reduce stress
3. Relief from pain
4. Longer lifespan
5. Lower blood pressure
6. Reduce mild depression
7. Benefit your career (The Go-Giver, by Bob Berg & John David Mann is worth a read for this category)

Leslie Goldman, contributor to the Huffington Post agrees, "Practicing philanthropy is one of the surest steps you can take toward a happy, healthy life."  When you help a friend move, help jump someone's car, donate to a charity, or serve food at a homeless shelter, the reward center in your brain goes to work and you start to feel good.  In fact, one study found that people who completed five small acts of kindness one day a week (reading to elderly, volunteering at church, or buying someone's lunch) for six weeks experienced a significant boost in overall feelings of well being.  However, research shows there is a threshold of giving needed to reach before it has an impact, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside,  "Those who spread their goodwill over the course of a week showed no such boost."  Lyubomirsky concluded, "Each action has a cumulative effect.  The more nice things you do, the more people will respond positively toward you, and the better you feel."

Do this exercise with me, extend your hand out with your pointer finger pointing outward...like this:

I call this the "G3 Law."  For every one genuine act of kindness, service, and generosity you give, you will be blessed 3 times over.  The pointer finger represents one external act of kindness, while the three fingers pointing back at you represent the abundance of blessings you will receive 3 times greater than your one single act.  

The Bible says, "Your treasure is where your heart is," (Matthew 6:21).  Thus, if your heart isn't in the right place, you won't see the benefits.  Dr. Michael Poulin assistant professor of psychology at the University Buffalo says, "Helping appears to only be good for you if you really care about those you're helping."  Kathy Gottberg's blog SmartLiving365 agrees, "Feeling resentment or obligation will erase the benefits that we might otherwise receive in both our emotions and our physiology.  If you feel exploited in any way, it is better not to take the action than stress yourself out doing something for the wrong person."  

The Bible supports this approach of service, but only if your helping comes from a sincere place.  2 Corinthians 9:6-7 says, "The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.  Each one must give as he has decided on his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God blesses a cheerful giver."  In the end, God knows our heart.  Serve, help, and be generous...your health, happiness, and wealth depends on it!

30 Days of Gratitude and Service Challenge:
Along with writing down what you are thankful for and telling someone why you are thankful for them each day...for the next 30 days:

1. Go above and beyond to serve and help others.  Do at least one random act of kindness to help someone each day.

2. Each One Reach One: Pick one person for the next 30 days that you can pour into, mentor, and serve.  Maybe this is someone in your life that could use some company, a friend, might need financial help, our could benefit from a positive influence in their life.

Quality is better than quantity.  If we all can pour into one individual and help them get to a better place (and they learn the power of service and helping another person)...imagine how much better our community and world will be.

Check out these articles on the power of service.  They are quick and easy reads and the payoff is substantial.  Hope you all have a great week!  Remember...SEEK TO SERVE!

Volunteering: 7 Big Reasons Why Serving Others Serves Us

4 Amazing Health Benefits Of Helping Others

Check back this week as we continue my series, 30 Days of Gratitude and Service.  I'll discuss the role that FEAR plays as a roadblock of becoming the best version of yourself.