FEELINGS NOT FACTS

I've made an observation recently.  I've come to the realization that what motivates people to ACT, BUY, and DO is not logic; its not numbers; its not even money.  It actually comes down to one simple thing - our feelings.  Emotion and Imagination beat Logic every day of the week.  You've probably heard the saying that people don't remember what you said, but how you made them feel...I'm going to explore this topic a little bit.

Let's face it, we all in one way or another are in a sales role.  Selling our kids to clean up or finish their food.  Convincing your significant other to go with your color choice when painting the kitchen, not theirs.  Pulling a Jedi Mind Trick on your best friend to meet at your favorite spot versus theirs.  Teachers, lawyers, parents, leaders, coaches, businesses, siblings, friends are all selling something: an idea, service, preference, product, or dream.

The art of the COMPLEX Sell: selling an idea to your kids

Studies show that people rely on emotions, rather than information, to make decisions.  Douglas Van Praet, author of Unconscious Branding: How Neuroscience Can Empower (and inspire) Marketing offers his opinion, "The most startling truth is we don't even think our way to logical solutions.  We feel our way to reason.  Emotions don't hinder decisions.  They constitute the foundation on which they're made!"

I was first exposed to this feeling trumps facts theory while listening to a Tony Robbins (life and business strategist) video on YouTube several months ago.  Tony was telling a story about a conversation he had with Steve Wynn, business man, art collector, and well known luxury casino and hotel owner.  Steve, the creator of the Wynn hotel in Vegas, told the story on how he built the most expensive hotels in the world, and kept his prices high, because he wanted to make people feel SIGNIFICANT...even during the Recession in 2008 and 2009 when his competitors were shrinking, he went bigger, grander, and added more value.  All to enhance feelings and significance.  He even built a new hotel at the peak of the economic downturn and his goal was simple, it was to add more value...he even raised his prices!  He created the most beautiful, unique, and awesome experience, so people would feel special, important, and like royalty.  This strategy paid off - in a big way.  So remember this:

People don't purchase products, they purchase feelings.

People don't acquire things, they acquire states.

People don't buy stuff, they buy identities.

Have you ever been in a relationship and either you or the person you were dating wanted to break up?  Whether your romance was relatively new or you had been together for a long time, someone had to try to explain why they didn't want to continue the relationship.  This was always my biggest fear and least favorite thing in the world...breaking up with someone.  I absolutely HATED IT, more than anything.  Well, on a few occasions, I'd hear the girl on the other end, try to explain in great detail, all the rational reasons and facts why we should be together: we have a lot in common, we share the same interests, we like the same activities, our values are aligned.  Yes, all those things are true, but I JUST DON'T FEEL IT!  I probably cried more then they did when I left, but I knew it had to get done. I would then, ponder the points interjected, which all rationally made sense, but:

WHEN IS LOVE RATIONALE? 

My biggest fear during my single days: having "the talk"

The fact is, love, feelings, and emotions are not rationale...sometimes they don't even make sense!  But emotion and feelings are what drive action.

So here is the money question, how do we tap into these so called feelings that are so important?  Here is my 3 phase approach to evoke feelings and not simply rely on facts to get what you want:

PHASE I - 1st Impression

• Confidence: Confidence and self-believe are very attractive qualities that lead people to follow.
• Humility: Confidence mixed with being humble is a strong combination.  Humility draws people in and allows others to put their guard down.
• Sincerity: Being sincere creates trust.  Trust creates dialogue.  Dialogue creates relationships.  Solid relationships are the foundation of what selling an idea is all about.

PHASE II - Tell a Story

• Make the status quo unsafe: How can you prove that what they are currently doing or want to do is not the best way?  This is where you generate an unmet need or a pain point.
• Make them smarter: Knowledge is power.  Teaching somebody something they do not know that can help them creates a feeling and emotion - whether it's information on the marketplace, their own environment, competition, or how other's are succeeding or failing - intellegient information is always a premium. 
• Offer a different solution: Provide a solution to make their next move a productive one that is different than what they are currently doing (or have been offered by someone else).

PHASE III - Motives Matter

• It's all about YOU not me: Make the other person the center of the story, not you.
• Bring the VALUE you promised: In the end, its all about value.  Whoever brings the most value wins.  You need to deliver on what you said you were going to do.
• Prove you CARE, then CLOSE: Make caring a competitive advantage.  Care through Internal Investment then show it through External Execution.  When you have done this, you've earned the right to ask for what you want...when these steps have taken place, closing is easy.

In summary, life is all about FEELINGS!  The rational argument doesn't always win.  Emotion, imagination, and feeling trump all.  Your first impression is what draws people in, but your content keeps them engaged.  Remember to carry yourself with confidence, humility, and sincerity...those are all quality traits that establish credibility and trust.  

Tell a story, don't rattle off stats and facts.  Jesus spoke in parables for a reason.  People connect with a story, not just info.  Stories stick.  Make sure your story has danger or a threat, educational information that makes the other person smarter, and a unique solution that solves the problem.  

Lastly, make the customer or person you are talking to be the focal point and main character of your story (HINT: the protagonist should not be you, but the other person!).  Always bring value in what you are offering and be different by sincerely caring for all parties involved.  If money is your only motive, if YOU are your only motive...your results will be short lived.  When your motives align with service, value, and fulfilling the other person's needs first, you will win in the long term.

Give this approach a try!  If you do, your outcomes will improve...I CAN FEEL IT!!!

ALIVE

If you read my last post, I mentioned that I hosted a candidate on a "ride along" last Friday.  As these work trips usually go, the potential employee usually asks questions about the role, trying to gain nuggets on the products, insights on customer concerns, and what the day to day looks like.  Often these individuals are jotting down notes into their journals (they better be!), formulating a plan to knock out their final interview, while putting their best foot forward in hopes that I sing their praises to the hiring manager.

On this particular day, at least for most of it, it went as usual...visiting accounts, doing my thing, answering questions, explaining the industry, etc. etc.  But this time, the candidate, let's call her Stacy asked me a great question.  She asked, "If there is one thing I need to know...one piece of advice you can give me to crush this job, what is it?"

I thought about it for a second, while driving past the old battle ships nestled in the waters of Bremerton, Washington.  I pondered the question, thinking of the right response that would genuinely help her.  The standard answer would be to set goals, create a solid plan and execute, work really hard, bring value, and ask for the business.  Deep down I felt that response would be just like those old war vessels...rusty and out dated.

Well for some reason that day was different.  For those of you who have been following my blog have witnessed a dramatic shift in my mindset that I'm trying to share.  This blog has fostered an intellectual journey that has been one of the most transformational forces in my life.  It has taught me a powerful emotion called humility.  The process of sharing my thoughts, research, opinions, and strategies has been truly rewarding.  I have learned that I don't have to create, just document my journey.  Using concepts from Carol Dweck's book, Mindset: A New Psychology of Success, I'm working on developing a growth mindset - focusing on the process, learning, and growing - not simply on outcomes and the black and whiteness of wins an losses.  For most of my life I was living in a fixed mindset - gaining my self worth and validation on proving that I was good enough - to myself and others.

Trust me, I'm still a work in progress, but this time, when asked for advice on succeeding, I wanted to share something different.  I simply told Stacy:

Just know that you are alive
YOU ARE ALIVE!

To the average innocent bystander, one would think, man this dude is corny and definitely on the cheesy side.  You know what, I really don't care.  I wanted her to know and you to know that you are ALIVE!  Take advantage of this precious gift of having the freedom of being present, here alive today.  To think.  To act and do whatever it is that you want.   

Most people wake up each day and take for granted all the possibilities being alive has to offer...seriously.  Why do people wait to go through a traumatic event or threat of loss to truly appreciate how insanely lucky we are to experience just a single day and all the possibilities and wonders each day brings...especially in the mundane things that aren't given a second thought once they've passed?  Don't make a loss make you finally live. 

Kendra and my WORLD.

We take for granted the small things...which really are the BEST THINGS.  Get ready for my random list of examples: 

Hearing a child's laughter; going on a walk and feeling the wind in your face; a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon (what can I say, I love cheese...and bacon for that matter); going to the movies, reading a good book; smelling a scent that takes you back; experiencing the sunrise on a morning run; waking up on a Saturday morning to College Gameday; picking raspberries with your kids; physical touch from a loved one...the list can go on and on. 

How would you live your life if you knew you only had 6 months to live?  Would that change how you thought, acted, lived and loved?  What would you appreciate more if you just got out of jail after being locked up for 20 years?  I had the opportunity to play softball a few years ago against federal inmates and spoke to one of my former classmates who had 10 more years to serve.  Wow, the freedoms we have if you change your lens are so immense and beautiful, but are we living with that perspective and gratitude?

Living today, right now, I truly feel blessed...blessed and trying to do as much as I can while I'm here.  Sometimes I feel like John Mayer when he sings in his song, "Stop This Train"...so I play the numbers game, to find a way to say my life has just begun. If I do the math, I have about 64% of life left...and that's if I live to be 100. This is a long winded way of telling the candidate in my car, to you, and to remind myself that if you are reading this:

YOU ARE ALIVE, 
BUT ARE YOU TRULY LIVING?

We only get ONE SHOT at life.  This is me pleading with you (and to myself) to do a few things right now:

• Love more, judge less

• Laugh at yourself, not at others

• Cry tears of joy
• Think daily and independently 

• See beauty in all things

• Find gratitude in even hardships and set backs

• Ask yourself this question at the end of each day, "How many people did I help?"

• Know that you are only limited by your thoughts

• You can do and be anything you want - it all starts and ends in your mind

• Be generous

• Forgiveness transcends
• Know these words and use them often: Please and Thank you

• Fight the battle ahead, not the one behind you

• Plan for the future, but be present today

• Lastly, believe in yourself. You are special. You are a miracle. Since you are a miracle, make and recognize mini miracles daily. 

• Oh, and know that God loves you just the way you are, so just be yourself. 

Live the life you dream about.  Do not wait for an event to cause this.  Make this powerful choice now.

Happiness is not about money, but moments.  Fulfillment isn't found in status, but service.  Joy is not achieved by acquiring things, but in harnessing the power of thankfulness.  This approach is my best practice. This is my advice. I hope that you and Stacy from my ride along takes it, run with it, and never look back.

THE BIG 6

Last Friday (and an Ice Cube movie) I was working with a candidate that was doing a Ride Along (another Ice Cube movie...Ice Cube is my spirit animal) with me.  This isn't too uncommon...I am a sales trainer as well as a Territory Manager and often ride with and train new employees.  This particular case was an individual who was doing a "day in the life" of what we do.  This candidate was pretty far into the interview process and this ride along is usually one of the last steps.  These field rides are also an opportunity for me to get a feel if this person is a good fit for our company and has what it takes to succeed in medical sales - specifically in our division.  I am tasked to give my recommendation to the manager and other members of the leadership team.

I envision my ride along's like this...I'm obviously Ice Cube (one bad mofo)

 When I work with candidates I'm looking at specific traits in a short amount of time.  I try to uncover these behaviors and skill sets through questioning and basic interaction throughout the day.  If the candidate can demonstrate these traits, they are in.  If they can't, they're out.

Here is what I call my Big 6:

1. WORK ETHIC/DRIVE: Do they have an extremely strong work ethic and drive to be the best?
2. INTELLIGENCE: Are they smart?
3. GRIT: How do they deal with failure...are they resilient?
4. VALUES: Do they operate with sound ethics and good manners?
5. ENTHUSIASM: Are they passionate or passive? 
6. CULTURE: Does their personality fit within our organization?

In baseball, scouts, general managers, and personnel people are looking for what they call a "5 Tool Player."  These players are very rare and are coveted by organizations.  Basically, having the 5 tools means, you are a complete player...you can do it all: run with speed, excellent defensively, have a strong arm, hit for average, and hit for power.  Scouts must rely on their experience, eye for talent, and often "gut," on these players who are unproven at the professional level.  They have to project whether or not they have what it takes to make it to the "Show."  These scouts grade potential draftees on these 5 tools.  They would say for example, "He's a 4 tool guy...he does everything well, but can't hit for power (lacking that one tool)."

Mike Trout is as the model of a 5 Tool player - he can do everything on the baseball field very well.

I apply this same approach in projecting what kind of sales professional and person this candidate will be.  I evaluate whether or not they have what it takes to be a key contributor AND be a President's Club type representative.  That's always the hope.  I believe that if a candidate has the Big 6, I don't care what their sales background is, we can teach them how to sell our products and services and they will have success.

If this is you, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

This might be a good time to evaluate your Big 6.  Are you a 3 Tool player or a 6 Tool player?  Is it time to revisit your fundamentals and get back to the basics?  Do you need to remind yourself why you took the job in the first place?  Sometimes we can get comfortable and get into modes where we are on cruise control.  I know you've heard of Beast Mode...attacking each day and challenge at work with zest and zeal (like how Marshawn Lynch attacked a defense).  I hope for your sake you are not in Least Mode...getting the least out of your skills, while your employer is getting the least out of your position.  Sometimes in life, we need to ask the right questions.  Here are a few for you to think about:

• How is your work ethic?  Are you still busting your ass, and giving maximum effort every day to be the best you can be?
• What are you doing to improve your skill sets and knowledge within your position?  
• How is your personal development outside your role (maybe for a position you want to ascend to)?  
• How do you deal with change and adversity in the work place...how's your grit?  
• Are you living by your core values on the job and treating others with respect and generosity?
• Are you living each day with passion and enthusiasm?  
• Do you love what you do?  
• Do you enjoy the people you work with?  
• Do you get satisfaction hanging and being around your coworkers?  
• Does your job give you energy or take it away?

WORK BY THE NUMBERS:
5% - current unemployment rate, thus,
95% of Americans are working
55% of our day (M-F) is spent at work (based on 7.7 hours of sleep)
30% of our life is spent at work
38% of men work over 50 hours per week
15% of women work over 50 hours per week (that number was 5% in 1979)
1800 - hours Americans work per year
$15.7 trillion - American Gross Domestic Product (GDP as of 2012)
$8.3 trillion - China's GDP in 2012 - our closest competitor

Seriously, take a moment and evaluate yourself, your position, your job, and your company right now.  I'd like to hope that for you, money isn't the only thing that determines your career and current role.  Life is too short!  Please don't simply survive Monday through Friday.  

My hope is that you THRIVE in your profession...that you wake up each day feeling blessed and so excited to go to work!  

If you are not 6 for 6 in my BIG 6, how can you improve that?  Remember a few posts ago, I mentioned the power of the Kohler Effect?...how working in groups or with others makes you put forth more effort.  I hope that you love the people you work with.  At my company, the people and the relationships I have with my colleagues is the most enjoyable piece of what I do.  I can honestly say that I LOVE THEM!  Life is all about relationships.  Quality relationships at home and in the workplace are vital for personal fulfillment.  I hope you feel the same.  If not, it might be time to re-evaluate your role.  Most people spend as much time with co-workers as family.  Find a job that fills you up, where you wake up on Monday PUMPED, because you get to go to work.  Find a company culture and a role that PLAYS TO YOUR STRENGTHS!  Do what you are good at and love to do.  Again, life is TOO SHORT to simply tolerate or worse yet, hate your job!!!

Growth and contribution bring ultimate satisfaction.  Finding the right career will do just that.  If you love your job, company, and current role - great.  If not, what can you do about it?  Time is ticking...don't waste a single day not progressing personally and professionally.  Being the best version of you means you are doing what you love to do and absolutely crushing it.  Let's GOOOO!  If you are in this place, continue that path.  If you are not, make the changes necessary to be there.  YOU CAN DO IT!!!

CPW

CPW...learn this acronym.  Know it's ways.  Trust it's power.  So what is CPW you might ask?  Well, its an approach to fashion that took me into my 30's to understand, appreciate, and apply.  CPW stands for: Cost Per Wear.

Given $200 and the task to expand my wardrobe, the younger me would either go to Target or Old Navy and buy several lower cost (and lower quality) garments.  I guess I used to walk out of these shopping experiences feeling stoked that I just scored a major wardrobe update.  My mindset at the time was quantity over quality.

Well, now that I am much older and wiser...and who's kidding, my wife Kendra has rubbed a lot off on me...I see more value in having fewer clothes, but higher quality.  Having a few staples in your closet that might cost more, but last longer and make you feel good is my new approach.  Looks are not everything, but liking how your clothes fit and loving how they look - at least for me - makes all the difference.

LOOK GOOD. FEEL GOOD. PLAY GOOD.

With that said...let me introduce you to a staple of mine that has been a go to for several years.  Fellas, listen.  Ladies, take notes for your man.  Its another acronym...they are called the ABC pant from Lululemon.  ABC stands for Anti Ball Crushing...seriously, that's what they are called.  Nothing wrong with letting the boys breathe a little.

This dude looks like he's thinking, "I wear, therefor I am, awesomeness."

Here's why I like them:

1. Lulu hems and tailor's them for free (yes!).  Guys, having your pants bunched up at the bottom is not a good look...maybe back in 1994 when grunge and gangster rap was all the fashion rage.  Take your pant game to the next level and have them tailored.
2. They don't wrinkle!  Awesome when I have to travel...just throw them in my bag and I'm good to go...no ironing necessary!
3. You can wash and dry them!  No dry cleaning bill.  This is so convenient and actually saves you money in the long run.
4. They are versatile!  Dress them up or dress them down.  Wear them with Vans or Chucks...or throw on a sport jacket with a pair of Cole Haan's and you are ready to close the deal in your afternoon meeting!
5. Last but definitely most important...they have 4-way stretch material!  Being in outside sales and getting in and out of my car frequently, driving, and flying...comfort and durability is HUGE...these babies are the most comfortable pants I have ever worn.  I can do squats in these pants no prob!  

The price is $128 and worth every penny.  I am not lying...I've converted about half of the guys in my division at my company to the ABC's...once you try them on, there's no going back!  Invest in your look...feel good...get value out of your purchase...buy clothes that last and look great...you deserve it!

Please, don't be that guy.

My other favorite pants are Zanerobe.  They also have 4-way stretch, they are a little more on the skinnier side (if you are looking for more of a trendy look), you can wash and dry them, they have plenty of room in the crotch (hee hee...ode to MJ) and my favorite part...they have a draw string!...no belt needed.  Love these when I'm going through security at the airport.  Zanerobe's are great to wear with an untucked shirt...dress them up or dress them down just like the ABC pant.  They come in a few different styles and retail for about $119 or less.

Here I'm rocking my black Zanerobe's...look like pants, feel like sweats.

Ladies, remember when 7 For All Mankind Jeans came out and completely changed the game for you...your comfort, your style, and most importantly, your butt!  After that, normal denim jeans just wouldn't cut it.  The thought!...jeans that cost over $100?...now it seems, they must cost over $200 to even be in the game.  Well, these ABC and Zanerobe pants are that kind of a game changer for guys.  You justified to yourself to spend that kind of money on jeans, but you felt GREAT!

Fellas, trust me, once you buy a pair and wear them, its like when Neo from the Matrix swallowed that pill...EVERYTHING CHANGED.  I actually wear less and less jeans now because of these pants.

Dudes before and after the ABC and Zanerobe pant.

Now when our money is spent at Target...its because Kendra spends it on a bunch of...aah umm...random SHIT for the house!...do we really need another candle or that apple cider dish soap?!

Part of being the best version of you includes loving how you look.  Find what works for you and rock it!  Remember, just be you...everyone else is taken..but if you're a guy, the ABC & Zanerobe pants might need to be a new staple.  Finally, understanding what CPW is all about and rethinking how you invest in your closet and YOU...is a step in the right direction!

SPECIAL EFFECTS

These techniques, strategies, and EFFECTS will create an explosion of good in your life.

So I downloaded an audiobook by Martin Meadows called Confidence: How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs and Achieve Your Goals. Martin's books are short, to the point, and give a fantastic foundational overview of several themes dealing with mastering your mindset.  I pulled three new concepts and theories that I have never heard before and liked:

• Locus of Control
• Kohler Effect
• Galatea Effect & Pygmalion Effect

LOCUS OF CONTROL

Locus of control is the degree to which people believe that they have control over the outcome of events in their lives, as opposed to external forces beyond their control.  This concept was developed by psychologist Julian Rotter in the 1950's.  I'll explain the two types:

Internal Locus of Control - these individuals believe through their thoughts and actions, they have the power to control what happens to them in life...good or bad.  Like my boy He-Man used to say, "I have the POWER!"

External Locus of Control - these people believe they cannot control their life, but their outcomes are decided by environmental and external factors, which they cannot influence.  I think of Winnie the Pooh's Eeyore, "I'd look on the bright side if I could find it."

I love this concept because it encourages people to reflect on how they see the world and what kind of influence they believe they have.  I'm sure you have individuals that you work with or have friends that constantly use words like, "luck," "it's not fair," "it's not my fault," or "when am I going to get a break?"  These thoughts definitely fall under and External Locus of Control.  If you are one of these people, it's time to actively switch your mindset to one that believes through daily choices, discipline, and hard work, you can MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!

Your life will not change for the better until you take ownership of your feelings, successes, and failures.  Are you playing the complain and blame game?  Snap out of it!  Take ownership of your results, be grateful for every opportunity good or bad, and use it as a means to learn and grow.  Try to have more of an Internal Locus of Control.

I really enjoy this quote

KOHLER EFFECT

The Kohler effect is a phenomenon that occurs when a person works harder as a member of a group than when working alone.  This concept was founded by German psychologist Otto Kohler in the 1920's.  His work was rekindled by another German psychologist Erich Witte in the late 1980's.  What they found was that in groups, people commonly exert more effort, perform better, and raise their standards when pushed or when they compare themselves to others in a group...hmmm can you say CrossFit?

This is why I love team sports and the fact that the best teams get the most out of each individual's talent.  The Kohler Effect forces people within a group to evaluate and push their expectations of themselves and go harder in order to not let their teammates down.  

Life is meant to be spent together.  Anytime you are faced with a challenge, new task, or obstacle, remember this and invite a buddy to take along the journey with you (i.e. going to the gym, learning a new skill, personal development, etc.).  This accountability, encouragement, and support might be all the difference to taking your outcomes to the next level.

GALATEA EFFECT & PYGMALION EFFECT

The Galatea Effect and Pygmalion Effect are both self fulfilling prophecies and describe the power of expectations...but from two different sources.  This concept came from Greek mythology, which when I researched it a little more was confusing and weird.  Basically, this dude Pygmalion fell in love with a statue he created named Galatea.  Needless to say, the Galatea effect can be described as one's own opinion about their ability and self-worth has a direct influence on their performance.  This is also called one's self-efficacy or "one's belief in their abilities."  Basically, if you think you can or you can't, you're right...but in this case, people who trust their abilities and skill sets, create positive outcomes because of this inner confidence.

High expectations can come from many different sources.  I am really drawn to the Pygmalion effect from a leadership perspective because this is a phenomenon in which the higher the expectation (let's hope a healthy stretch goal) placed on people - often employees, students, and children - these people perform better.  This approach can be characterized by leaders who encourage, support, and challenge their people to raise their standards. These leaders are able to help their constituents to achieve success at a higher level.  I'm sure you can think of leaders, teachers, managers, or coaches that did this for you.  They made you feel special, talented, and gave you confidence...thus you performed better.  These are my favorite leaders (I love you Coach Mike Price!).

The only time I fumbled a punt, Coach Price hugged me and said, "You're our guy...don't worry about it." Powerful.

So whatever controls or effects you utilize, just remember these 4 things:

1. LOCUS OF CONTROL: You and only you have control over your outcomes.  Take ownership of this, stop blaming outside circumstances, and take life by the horns.  This mindset changes everything.  It's not up to anybody, but YOU!
2. KOHLER EFFECT: You want to improve your fitness, learn a new skill, or take your life to the next level?...do things with other people.  Get into an accountability group.  Take on new challenges not alone, but with people you love and trust...you'll bring out the best in each other and the togetherness and teamwork, will help raise your level of output and resilience.
3. GALATEA EFFECT: Your self belief, image, and expectations of yourself are so important.  See yourself as a winner and you will be a winner.  It all starts in the mind.  Believe and expect amazing things for you and they will happen! 
4. PYGMALION EFFECT: The power of encouragement, support, and love are so strong - especially from people in leadership positions.  Use this concept at home with your children, in social settings, and in team environments.  Positive praise and enthusiasm can do wonders.  Use this technique to get more out of others you work with and care about.  Remember the movie the Water Boy..."YOU CAN DO IT!"  Let's remember to utilize phrases like these...I can speak from personal experience...these uplifting words were more effective then being belittled and put down.

Let's go...Lights. Camera. Action!  Live a life with these Special Effects, and you will write a script for yourself that only Hollywood could create...and I believe it will be a masterpiece.