RICH AND FAMOUS

Researchers of a recent study asked Millennials this question:

What do you think will make you "Happy?"

• 80% said to be "rich"

• 50% said to be "famous"

Hmmm, we have some work to do here. It's a little bit concerning that this is the world we live in. If you are wondering who exactly Millennials are...they are individuals who were born from the early 80's to the year 2000. I just missed the cut, but fall under the Generation Y category (mid 60's to early 80's).

With the advances in technology and access to many mediums that provide instant feedback, our attention spans and patience have significantly shrunk...I mean drastically. Let me list a few things that can be credited for this shrinkage (there's something about that word I just don't like):

• cell phones (do people even have home phones anymore?)
• text messaging (do people...especially young people even talk anymore?)
• social media (Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Twitter, Vine, Facebook...do people think quietly to themselves anymore?)

When we have a minute or two of down time, we open the old smart phone and review our "likes" and comments, while comparing ourselves to everyone else's virtual reality we create for ourselves via filters, lighting, angles, and #tbt's. The smart phone really has changed everything.  I'll save my rant about reality TV for another post...but seriously, how many reality TV shows are on now?...they dominate all stations.

Does this scene look familiar? 

The Baby Boomers (born post WWII to mid 60's) didn't have the luxury to ask someone out on a date via text...or check their Tinder page. Here's another question, do people even write letters anymore? The "Best Generation" (born in the 20's and 30's) couldn't fax, email, or send a Snap to their boo or best bud (is the hand written note or thank you card a lost art?)

What I'm trying to say is that the word PATIENCE is almost non-existent. Instant gratification is at an all-time high. From binge watching entire seasons on Netflix to becoming an overnight celebrity on YouTube....the term "hard-work" and "paying your dues" have been lost...not just with Millennials or Generation Y (early 2000's to present)...this includes grown folk too.

Here's my point, many people think that being "rich" or success happens overnight...or that being famous is the highway to happiness. I'm here to tell you that couldn't be further from the truth. Stop waiting for the homerun and start playing "small ball"...do the little things, hustle, bust your butt, break your dreams into smaller goals. Add those little things up over time and you'll get big things. Being grateful for what you have now will create more opportunities to receive a life of more abundance later. Playing the blame game and being a victim will get you nowhere.

You want to get paid like Bill?  Work as hard as Bill.

Here's another thing, many people quit the moment there's a set back, failure, or adversity. This is why there are so few extremely successful people. The system is designed that way. It's designed to keep those types of people out. Trust me, the people who win the most have failed the most. They simply view failure differently.

The average Joe sees failure as a roadblock, where successful people see failure as a building block. 

Obsessing over only outcomes is a recipe for disaster. Being consumed by what you perceive other people think of you and making that a huge part of how you create your self worth is not the way to live.

The path to success is never a straight line

My life didn't change until I learned that gratitude is the real currency. Self love, forgiveness, and acceptance is where rest and peace are found. Wealth is in relationships and living in community with others - and contributing to that greater good is where fulfillment lives. Progress and personal development is the ultimate status symbol. Fulfillment is understanding and trusting what God created you to do...and then doing it...not for other's appraisal but for simply living in your gift. No one's strength and talent is too small or insignificant. You were made for a reason. You are chosen. You are worthy. You are more than your profile page.

People who do something with the intent to be "rich" or "famous" need to find a new motive. Those two are like sugar and carbs, they taste good, but will burn out fast and are unhealthy if they are the only source that you fill yourself with.

My children's generation have not been classified with a name yet, but for those of you who have kids like Kendra and I, let's model a new vision of "what Happy looks like?" My dream is when asked the same question the younger generation (including Baylor, Bellamy, and Winnie) will say:

• Self love and self awareness

• Being generous and contributing to others

Sue me. I'm a dreamer. So here's my advice: Work hard. Be patient. Put your phone down. Invest in your personal development. Know that you will rise faster by serving others. Love yourself without the "likes." Oh, and take walks with your family to Starbucks.

That is all. 

UNLEASH THE LION

My little cubs: Baylor, Winnie, and Bellamy

Before I put each of my 3 kids to bed at night I say the same prayer with them:

1. Thank you God for this amazing gift.
2. Please protect them and keep them safe.
3. I pray that they love You and put You first.
4. I pray that they love themselves and are confident in who they are and how they are made unique and special.
5. I pray that they love and serve others.

What is interesting here is that the 4th one is the longest.  This 4th prayer might be the hardest and most complicated.  This 4th request might be the difference in how they process failure, success, and all the challenges life throws at us.  

In essence what I am asking God is that my children have self-confidence.

In the end, God has the final say, but I believe that He also gives us free-will...and one of the most powerful forms of free-will we have is our self-image - how we see ourselves.  Your self-image sets the stage for what you expect out of yourself, how you let others treat you, and what you get out of life.

Here's a story to help me explain:  

One day in the jungle, a Lion, his Lioness, and their cub Ayo where out on a morning walk together.  Unfortunately, a gang of hunters spotted them and went in for the kill.  Seeing this the Lion picked up and threw Ayo into the bushes and he and his bride sacrificed themselves to save their boy.  The cub was safe, but abandoned...Ayo cried and cried because he was scared and ached for his parents.  

Luckily though, not much time had passed and a herd of sheep came by and adopted the lion cub.  Ayo grew up with this herd of sheep and even came to believe that he was a sheep.  Ayo ate like a sheep, baaa'd like a sheep, followed others like a sheep, and was timid like a sheep.  One day several years later, the new Alpha Lion and King of the Jungle, Desta, was on the outer rim of the jungle and spotted the sheep.  He ran after them, but stopped in shock when he saw another lion.  All the sheep scattered and fled, including Ayo.  Desta cornered Ayo and said, "What's wrong with you?!" What are you doing with these sheep?"  Ayo replied, "Please have mercy on me, please don't kill me."

Desta couldn't believe what he was seeing.  He even asked Ayo to roar, but all Ayo did was baaaa like a sheep.  Disgusted, Desta grabbed Ayo and took him to the nearby river.  He told him to look at his reflection in the water.  Ayo looked down and saw a beautiful and powerful mane.  He looked back at Desta, then back at the reflection, and back again several times.  Desta said, "You are a Lion!  Now roar like one!"  Ayo puffed out his chest and tried, but all that came out was a weak growl.  Desta swiftly slapped Ayo accross the face with his powerful paw and said again, "You are a Lion!  The King of the Jungle!...now roar like one!"  Ayo looked at his paws, saw his sharp claws; he opened his mouth and saw his enormous teeth; he looked again into the river and a flash back of his brave father came to him.  Just like that, his self image change.  Ayo then stood up and roared the loudest roar the jungle had ever heard.  All corners of the jungle could hear this thunderous and powerful sound.  Ayo's days as a sheep were over.

HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF: AS A LION OR A SHEEP?

You and only you have the power to make that choice.  Do you see yourself living a life in abundance or scarcity?  Achieving your dreams and being the best version of you starts in the mind.  Take a moment to think about all the negative thoughts you have been telling yourself; stop thinking about what the doubters or haters have said about you; flush away your past failures; dismiss thinking of a future where you are not just absolutely crushing it.

Lets take a lesson from The King himself, LeBron James and do "The Silencer." LeBron has consistently quieted the doubters (3 rings, brought a championship to Cleveland, coming back being down 3 games to 1 vs. Golden State).  Usain Bolt paid homage to the King, by winning his 3rd 100 meter and 200 meter Golds at the Rio Olympics - many didn't believed he could do it AGAIN...then he hit 'em with The Silencer.  Here are the steps (I saw this on ESPN's Instagram last week):

I love the caption...And then he hit 'em with The Silencer

1. Push your hands down, while you lift your knees up (do this twice) - this represents pushing down your suppressive thoughts.
2. Make a fist and pound your chest 2 times - this represents, you ringing the bell for a new era, a new you...you are pumping up your Lion Heart.
3. Now, let out a roar so loud that everyone on the block can hear - Unleash the Lion Within!

Silence YOUR self doubt and often false perception of what you might think OTHERS think of you.  This exercise is the first step to changing your self image.  Believe that you are chosen.  Know that you are loved.  Trust that you are created to do something so amazing that only God could have planned it.  Start raising your expectations of yourself and find someone like Desta to knock some sense into you, inspire you, and reinforce that you HAVE THE POWER!!!...my 6th prayer is that you love yourself and UNLEASH the LION inside of you.  Start being the best version of you TODAY! 

WHAT IS YOUR WHY?

When your WHY is big enough, you will find your HOW.

Why do you do what you do?  What motivates you?  Have you ever spent time to think about it?  If you have, good for you.  If you haven't, it's time you started.  This is my last post to finish my series of solidifying what your personal brand is all about...and I think it very well could be the most important.

The first step at figuring out what drives your behavior is discovering the real reason why you get out of bed each day.  It could be money, recognition, providing for your family, proving somebody wrong, desire to be the best...this list could be endless.  If your "Why"is not well actualized, it is very difficult to achieve the results you desire...in this case, you "PRESS:"

• Pressure...it's hard to have lasting success when you are contanstantly in a state of pressure
• Retaliation/Revenge...motives of getting even and revenge are unhealthy and short lived
• Expectations of others...you have to want it and believe it
• Someone else's goal...if your motive and goal isn't yours, how can you truly commit? 
• Stuck...when you feel you have no way out or are stuck, panic and stress take over

When your motives are in the wrong place, you will PRESS.

When you PRESS, you will not sustain success.

Simon Sinek, author of the book Start With Why explains it very well. Organizations (or people for that matter) that do not thrive or even reach their full potential, is because they are starting at the wrong place. He calls it, "The Golden Circle." Most companies or people when looking at accomplishing their goals start in this order: 1) What is it that we/I do, 2) How do we/I do it, and 3) Why do we/I do it?

That's the wrong way. Here's the right way...I just saw that Apple has over 1 billion devices being used in the world today. Why has Apple been so massively successful? Notice earlier I said "devices" not computers. Apple did start out has a computer company, but because of Steve Jobs' vision and creating a clear "Why": to creat innovative, quality technologies that are user friendly. Their Why was never we are a "computer company"....no sir, that could be their "What." Their Why is to be an "innovator"....iPods, iPhones, iPads, MacBooks don't look or perform like desk top computers. This is an example of the importance of starting with Why.

Consumers love innovative, products that make life easier and more enjoyable.  In this case, they connect with the Why...that is why they buy Apple. Start with WHY, and the rest will fall into to place. Another example is the creator of Tom's shoes. Their motto is "One for One." For each shoe they sell, they will donate a pair of shoes to someone in need. Now that is a Why I can get behind!

Ok, you might be thinking enough with the business examples, what about ME?!...here goes. Think about a time in your life when you were so committed, so driven, and so focused on accomplishing something, you couldn't be stopped. Maybe it was finally dating your love interest, landing that job, losing weight, quitting a bad habit, or supporting a child or loved one. You probably said to yourself, there is no going back, this is my purpose, this is my vision, there was no backup plan...you were all in!

 If you can combine that drive and hunger with doing something you love...that is an amazing combination! What are you passionate about? What are you really good at? Leverage those to help create your Why.

What is it that you want? The Bible says, "Ask and you shall receive." Having a clear Why will take you there. We need to get our mind, body, and soul into that "state," that frame of mind, in "the zone."

A few of you might cringe when you are asked, "What is your passion?" For a lot of young people and even adults, that is a tough one. While on a plane a few weeks ago, I listened to a TED Talk on the topic of creativity. One of the presenters was the author Elizabeth Gilbert, from the book Eat, Pray, Love (over 10 million sold and was made into a movie staring Julia Roberts). I learned 2 things from her that might help with establishing your Why:

1) If you don't have a crystal clear PASSION, then ask yourself this question, "What am I CURIOUS about?" Your curiosity in a subject, service, thing, or type of people, will help lead you to your Why.

2) During the creative process, you cannot be afraid to fail. Fear of failure is the #1 killer of creativity. This mindset, retools how to look at failure and outcomes...there is no finish line, just growth and creation. We need to buy our own Why!

Author of the book Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert

Now onto Step 3), which could be most important: what drives you besides money? Money and status come and go. When your Why goes deeper, trust me, the money will come. Remember, the PROCESS is more important than the OUTCOME. The journey is tough. There will be set backs. Your Why gets you out of bed; your Why helps you overcome hardships; you're Why helps you get back up when you are knocked down. If your Why doesn't do this, it's time for a new one. Without a strong and clear Why, you will be lost. 

Here is my Why: I used to live a life full of insecurities. I was constantly judging myself, and being my worst critic.  I set unreal expectations for myself. I didn't celebrate wins because they were expected...but I would consistently beat myself up if I failed. I've learned that there is hope. Contribution and growth are premiums, failures and obstacles are blessings and opportunities. Wealth isn't in money or accolades, it's in relationships and helping people...I've come out the other end of the tunnel. I want to share the light and peace that gratitude and service provide...how faith never fails. Why am I doing this blog, it's simple: to give people the tools to become they BEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES.

It's time to come up with your Why. Think about it, write it down, tell someone, and start living it!!!