A 180 Degree Turn is Only a Matter of 1.5

Ideas are just ideas WITHOUT COMMITMENT

Goals are simply goals WITHOUT ACTION

Dreams are just dreams WITHOUT EXECUTION

I'm down here in Bend, Oregon for a conference at the beautiful Sunriver Resort.  Its 90 degrees + all weekend.  They just got a new pool last year, there's golf, trails, shops, and cool places to eat...one problem, my family is not with me.  So what do I do when I have free time, alone?...I read about or watch YouTube videos of inspiring people.  The old me, would probably go see a movie, dink around with my phone and all my social media apps, or binge on Netflix (with nobody to chill with...poor me).

For some reason, those things that I just listed do not fill me up like they used to.  Since I started this blog I have been researching almost obsessively what causes success...looking for habits, traits, and philosophies of ordinary people who do extraordinary things.

One common denominator of people who have extreme success is they do more with their time. 

I get it, after a long hard days work, putting out fires, grinding, commuting to and from work, dealing with people, you need time to decompress and disengage for a bit.  TV is a great outlet, spending time with our loved ones in my opinion is the best outlet, and many of us turn to our phones to escape from the rat race of life.  But for too many, this phone epidemic is getting a little out of hand (I haven't even gotten into video games).  From games, to various apps, to emails and text messages, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc.  There is a name for people who have a cell phone addiction...its called "nomophobia."  People create a neurological addiction, where they cannot be separated from there phones, laptops, iPads, or tablets...similar to craving cigarettes or alcohol.

My challenge to you is to invest in yourself 1.5 hours per day, 5 days a week.  The weekends are all yours.  I promise you, no one ever looks back on their life and says, "I wish I would have played Candy Crush or World of Warcraft more," or "My life would have been a whole lot better if I spent more time on Instagram."  No one ever reflects and says, "If only I would have slept more, watched more TV, binged more shows on Netflix, or played more video games."

Don't be like this dude..get off the couch!

Here is how you can do a 180 degree turn that will set your goals and dreams in motion...it starts by carving out 1.5 hours per day, 5 days a week, which is 7.5 hours per week, 30 hours per month.  Try this for six months and you'll have invested 180 hours (hence the 180 degree transformation) into yourself.

1. Look at all your social media apps 3 times per day and that's it: morning, afternoon, and once at night.  That's plenty of time to evaluate all your likes and commenting on post that make you smile.
2.  When you come home, engage with your loved ones with no distractions: No TV, put the phones away, and do like they did in the 1950's, talk and check in with each other.
3. Limit your "shows" to no more than 2: There's nothing wrong with having a go-to show or two, but 10 is a liiiiitle too much.
4. Focus 1.5 hours of your time doing something productive: After you've engaged with your family, ate dinner, put the kids down, checked your phone for a few minutes, invest in your development.
5. The world is your oyster: during this time, read a book, learn a new skill, get inspired, listen to a podcast, practice your craft, write, meditate, exercise, call and talk to a mentor, finally turn your idea into a small business...there are so many possibilities for self improvement!

Feel like you you don't have enough time to get everything done?  Here's a novel idea...wake up earlier!  Take care of the most critical things you need to get done first, so you free yourself up to do what you want.  Stop being like every one else who has a million excuses and isn't happy with where they are in their life.  Take action!

As each day passes, its a lost opportunity to get better. Live with no regrets!

We only have a finite number of days on this earth.  Only God knows that number.  Maximize each day!  You and only you have the power to make daily decisions on how you spend your time...are you going to improve and get better or settle or get worse?

Make the decision today that you'll wish you made 5, 10, 15 years from now.

So what area do you want to improve?  What new skill do you want to develop?  Turn your passion project into a reality.  Finally create your side project into a legit small business.  For you non entrepreneurs, learn to play the piano or guitar, improve your finances and knowledge in investing, write a book, or improve your fitness.  Like I said, the world is your oyster.  Commit to yourself 1.5 hours per day for 5 days a week for 6 months, and your life will take a 180 degree turn for the better.  Set a goal, create a plan, and get after it!!!  Breaking big things down into little chunks, makes what seems impossible, possible.

So how did I come up with 1.5 hours, 5 days a week for 6 months?  Here's how: Scientific research shows it takes 66 days to form a habit...so that takes up the first 2 months, just forming a habit of making time to invest in yourself.  From there, you can further specialize or add multiple new skills to your repertoire.  Josh Kaufman, author, blogger, and motivational speaker, says you can actually learn a new skill in 20 hours...not the 10,000 hour rule suggested by best selling author Malcolm Gladwell. 

If you don't invest in yourself, no one else will.  1.5 hours per day, 5 days a week, will allow you to do just that.  Go for it!  You will thank yourself in the future.

LOVE TO WIN / HATE TO LOSE

Answer this question:

Do you love to win or hate to lose?

During an interview over 2 years ago, I was asked that question.  "Interesting query," I internalized...(since I use the word query on the reg), while I frantically tried to process this simple yet complex question.  I responded by saying, "Both.  I love to win and I hate to lose."  The hiring manager challenged my answer and said, "You can't chose both, you have to pick one."  "Well, I suppose I hate to lose then if I have to pick," I replied.

Let me preface that this was one of the worst interviews I've ever done.  The hiring manager was one of the biggest jerks I've ever come across in an interview setting.  He was hardcore, never smiled, challenged every single response I gave, and I let him rattle me.  He asked me if I was a rule follower...I said yes.  He then asked quickly, "Well do you ever speed?"  I said, "Sometimes I go above the speed limit, I guess."  He said, "So then you are a liar...you do break the rules."  Cray cray right?

OK, I digress.  Back to the question of whether you love to win or hate to lose.  The one thing about this horrific interview was it exposed me to a really beautiful question that challenges one's core values, motivation, and fundamental belief system.  As a sales trainer, I often use this question to explore a new hire's paradigm and approach to sales.  Most often, these new hires and other people that I ask, say "both."  A close second is "I hate to lose."  Hating to lose is the dogma that has been ingrained in most high-achievers, go-getters, type A's, athletes, and sales people all over the world.  Select sports, advanced placement programs, and special clubs are at an all-time high for children and the ages are getting younger and younger.  For me, playing select sports at a young age, the idea that winning is the only option was implanted in my psyche early on.  Many, like me, received self worth and our identities based on wins and losses.

To error is human, but to forgive is not the policy of this company.   

Three out of my first four years in medical sales, I received a phone call informing me whether I was able to keep my job or not due to down-sizing and layoffs.  Luckily, my sales performance was always good enough to stay employed.  Winning and losing is often times a matter of receiving a paycheck or not...this is true, but as I've become older and wiser, I feel like many of us are missing the point.

There is another group of parents and individuals that believe every one deserves a medal, a golden star, and a trophy for simply participating.  "We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings," they say.  I unequivocally do not fall into that category or agree with this set of beliefs.  I believe this is a huge problem that manifests entitlement, complacency, and narcissism.  In life, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.  You get the girl, or you don't.  You land the job, or they offer it to someone else.  You get accepted into the college of your dreams, or your application is denied.

Greatest rapper of all-time, Y or N?

The point I'm trying to make is that failure is a key component of one's development.  Two very different individuals, but visionaries in their own unique way - Tupac Shakur and Nelson Mandela - both are quoted in saying, "I never lose.  I either win or I learn."  So many focus on the outcome instead of the process...their growth.  If we spend more time channeling our energy in our preparation, attitude, focus, and effort, the outcome is irrelevant.  Growth, knowledge, stretching oneself, and improvement should be the emphasis.  If you look at goal attainment this way, trust me, the wins will come.

Seek PROGRESS, not perfection.

When you bust your ass, give it all you got, and leave it all out there, and come up short...there's nothing wrong with that.  Obsessing over perfection will paralyze you.  This approach, of looking at outcomes from a different perspective, might actually help you win more.  Being clutch is doing what you normally do when it matters most.  Being able to lay your head down at night in peace whether you win OR lose, because you are judging yourself on a different set of criteria vs. the W or L column, is I think the only way to live...and perform at your best.  Judging myself on my preparation, being present in the moment, and leaving no ammo left (meaning I spilled my guts going as hard, as intense as I could...with a purpose, passion, and a plan)...if I lose, I can live with that.  The next step, is to evaluate where I fell short, adjust, improve, and try again.

Wisdom from one of the greatest of all-time: Sweetness

Many of you have viewed losing the same way I did for most of my life...you give it all the power.  This thought process forces people to miss the 5 foot putt, or choke when they have to perform in front of their manager or a really important client.  When the fear of losing is absent, and you shift that energy away from the black and whiteness of a win or a loss and evaluate and reward yourself based on a different set of criteria, you will in turn be more clutch.  Stop giving fear the power!  You are not defined by your failure, but how you react to it (learn, grow, and improve).  Losing the battle is not detrimental if your focus is on winning the war...having a macro perspective vs. micro...the power of perspective changes everything.

Life is short...celebrate the wins, learn from the losses.  Adversity, obstacles, and challenges often times are our greatest gift.  I don't enjoy losing, I just look at it differently.  My self-efficacy can be found in the E & G column (Effort and Growth)...not by wins and losses.  

So now my answer to the question is: 
I LOVE TO WIN!